[Hedgeleaf]

My friend has depression.

He's been in and out of therapy for the last 6 months. He was on medication but I don't think he takes it now, I'm not sure.

He saying I'm not there for him the way he needs me to be yet he doesn't tell me what he needs from me.

We used to see eachother all the time but now it's once every few weeks and then he says he feels really down after seeing me and retracts back into his shell and I have to tread on eggshells when he gets like this and sometimes he won't speak to me for a few days. When he's on a downer he can get very argumentative and takes a lot out on me when I don't mean to make him feel that way and I'm really trying so hard.

He doesn't answer his phone to me much and seems to prefer to sent text messages which is fine.

He tell me he's ashamed of his depression and finds it hard to communicate and to talk to me about it and it all seems to come out in anger.

At worst he tells me he doesn't want me as a friend anymore and needs to do this by himself.

If we haven't text all day he'll send me a sad face or ask why I'm ignoring him.

How can I be a better friend?

[Hedgeleaf]

Just to add... I said I'm here for him any time of day and he's called a few times but really late at night and I've been asleep so I've missed his call and then he's got mad saying I don't keep my promises

[EnglishDave]

You are doing all you can, it is not your place to be a punching bag when your friend's Mood dips. If he is not taking Therapy seriously and has stopped necessary meds then he is placing a great burden on you, unfairly imo.

Lashing out in anger or frustration can be a sign of Depression, but that does not excuse it. It should be worked out in Therapy, not on a friend's shoulders.

For me, to be a better friend I would suggest you try to pursuade him to return to prescribed treatment and then set ground rules for the support you are able to offer him.

Above all else, do put your own welfare first.

Dave.

[Hedgeleaf]

Thanks for the reply

I'be suggested returning to therapy and he gets upset each time it's mentioned.

He's really holding onto me be asleep when he's called saying I let him down and my promises mean nothing.

He said if the phone wasn't going to wake me up then why say to call?

It's very upsetting