[delicate grass]

Yesterday I have had a horrible day after a sleepless week, falling really sick and having to make it to a very important meeting with my mentors at my university that would define if I can graduate or not in 6 months. Except of being a mental mess, I have fallen deep in depression the past 2 months. I have had mild depression for the past 3 years and only last year I dared visiting a professional and getting help after 4 weeks of physical symptoms (heart race, insomnia, pain in chest and throat, severe panic attacks.) I am taking medication, the minimum dose as I was scared I might get too addicted on it. I have had minimum counseling before of time issues and also my insurance does not cover it and I cannot afford it.

I was even asked by my mentors what is my problem as I am self-sabotaging myself for the last 2 months by working extremely much but not appreciating and making my work appear banal and unnecessary. I used to be much more motivated and empowered and I would do whatever was on my mind. But since depression hit my brain is diffused and everything I ever think appears incomplete and banal.

How can I get a grip on myself?

[Rohag]

Recommendation: See a medical doctor for tests to rule out any possible problem hiding behind the depression symptoms.

[IrisBloom]

Depression can sap your energy and motivation and it is really easy to get overwhelmed by things that you could handle with ease before. Do get a physical check up and you might need to increase your meds. Take a break if you can to refresh yourself.

[EnglishDave]

Do as Rohag and Iris suggest regarding having a physical check up. That could uncover any number of underlying issues.

In the meantime, make yourself a list of attainable goals where your assignments are concerned. Have a Timetable with sessions set aside solely to review and correct the work you feel you have already completed. Never be satisfied with mediocrity, you will have many, many years to regret it.

Dave.