[elnarco]

Most of my adult life I've been on and off psychiatric medications. I've tried and taken most antidepressants at some time. I have also been on strong stuff like lithium and olanzapine.

The drugs do help but I couldn't stand side effects and that's why I've always quit taking them. So I completely stopped all medications in November 2015.

I hoped that as I got the drug out my system, my mind would return to normal. My plan was to combat depression by regularly going to the gym, exercising and eating well.

I've just been feeling so low for many months and I can't function at all now. Everyday is the same. I get up after 11am, have breakfast, watch TV and browse internet all day, have insomnia at night through worrying about if I could ever get my career back on track, worrying about what's going to happen to me..and the next day is exactly the same. Things have been like this for a long time but seem to be worse since last summer.

I basically don't do anything and have been unemployed for 5 years now. I can't even pick myself up to go to the gym. I just can't seem to break out of this.

I don't really want to return to taking medication, but I just can't carry on living like this. I don't know what to do.

[shadow2000]

It's unfortunate that you don't seem to be doing so well, even after having attempted to remedy your depression by eating well, exercising, and going to the gym. And it's got to be frustrating that the medications that seemed to help you to a degree had such strong side effects that the medications didn't seem to be worth continuing to take. Although it most definitely sounds like you've been trying hard to get a better handle on your depression, I would urge you to keep in mind that there are probably still some other treatment interventions left to try that can be useful in managing depression. Have you tried any form of talk therapy for your depression? I think that there's some evidence that meditation and acupuncture might be of some use in helping to manage depression, but as the case is with every type of intervention for depression other mental conditions, I don't think that these interventions benefit everybody who tries them. Still, they might be worth a try.

Another route you might want to explore would be the use of dietary supplements. I'm currently following a supplement regimen that's based on recommendations that a doctor at an orthomolecular treatment center made to me after having ordered several tests, and even though I still think that I could be doing better, I'm doing better following my current regimen than I was when I was utilizing treatment interventions that were more mainstream. Of course, just because orthomolecular psychiatry is helping me doesn't necessarily mean that orthomolecular treatments and other approaches to managing depression and other mental conditions will necessarily help everyone, but I think that it's an option that's worth looking into, especially if you've tried other treatment options without much success.

From reading your post, it definitely sounds like you'd benefit from exploring different interventions that might be useful for managing your depression. Returning to medication therapy might still be something to think about, but I would also look into other ways of managing depression that you might not have tried. I've described a few of these "other ways" here already, and you should be able to find quite a few more ways of approaching the management of depression through Internet searches, if you're interested. At any rate, I hope that you'll find yourself feeling better at some point, even if it does take a few more attempts at getting a better handle on your depression. I wish you luck with everything.

[stewartmays1]

im the same been out of work for 15 years now and with all the mental health issues that followed its safe to say im not in a good place most of the time.

but somethings do help cbt for one getting active can help a lot to so if you cant get to the gym try walking for 20 min every day its small but will get you moving a bit because when you hit rock bottom it all seems pointless right,depression will suck the life out of you and the more you just sit thier the worse it gets try and start doing things you would like to do read listen to music watch a video try and give your self something to get up for start small do what ever you can to help your situation

[Fizzyo]

I'm afraid inactivity is destructive to your self esteem and your mood, however, it also does no good to get angry with yourself about it and beat yourself up.

It may mean taking yourself by the collar and forcing yourself to start, but maybe try to change one thing at a time. Baby steps one at a time can get there eventually. CBT and DBT can also be helpful if you can get access to them and are able to practice practice practice.

Good luck as you search for your way forward.

Originally Posted by elnarco

Most of my adult life I've been on and off psychiatric medications. I've tried and taken most antidepressants at some time. I have also been on strong stuff like lithium and olanzapine.

The drugs do help but I couldn't stand side effects and that's why I've always quit taking them. So I completely stopped all medications in November 2015.

I hoped that as I got the drug out my system, my mind would return to normal. My plan was to combat depression by regularly going to the gym, exercising and eating well.

I've just been feeling so low for many months and I can't function at all now. Everyday is the same. I get up after 11am, have breakfast, watch TV and browse internet all day, have insomnia at night through worrying about if I could ever get my career back on track, worrying about what's going to happen to me..and the next day is exactly the same. Things have been like this for a long time but seem to be worse since last summer.

I basically don't do anything and have been unemployed for 5 years now. I can't even pick myself up to go to the gym. I just can't seem to break out of this.

I don't really want to return to taking medication, but I just can't carry on living like this. I don't know what to do.

Sorry to hear about this! I happened to become chronic depressed too (due to negative living conditions for a long time). One really feel the hopelessness when one aren't able to influence one's living conditions.

I use an antidepressant daily, and have become adjusted to the thought that so it is to be me. Have some side effects, but the antidepressant effect is good enough for me. I chose the side effects instead of a deeper depression.

To help myself back to work again, I have started to study again. I also do volunteer work. Is that something you can do to meet others and to focus on something else than your depression? I have found it helpful to put regularity into my life. I (usually) force myself to get up early in the morning, eat, shower, use some time for reflection - how to cope with triggers and how to behave in situations I know are difficult for me to handle (you can call it for some sort of self-help morning therapy to be prepared for the day. I expect to have to do this for the rest of my life). There are lots of good self-help books in Cognitive Behavior Therapy (If you want an Internet tool for changing thoughts that changes feelings PM me and I will give you the Internet address). After that I'm out for jogging, and after that the productive part of my day starts. I have made it a rule to try to not allow myself to think so much about sad things.

For the time being, I have trouble falling asleep (SAD), so my daily plans doesn't work so well nowadays. I'm trying the step by step method. I will force myself to get out of bed 1/4 of an hour before the time I have been accustomed to one morning, then the next 1/4 of an hour the next morning and then the next and the next until I hopefully will come back to normal. I know people who have to stick to a strict go to bed / get up plan to be able to live good productive lives. There are self-help books on that topic as well. Look online and you can read a bit about what seems best for your situation.

Hope you will find a solution for your problems! For me the best "medication" was to accept that I am cronic depressed. Trying to get rid of the depression instead of finding out how to cope with it didn't work for me.

May be you could try an easy low paid job, just to have a start ...

Please come back and inform us on how you are doing!

Send you my hopes (and please hope for me to manage my sleep problems)!

[OneInBillions]

Sounds a lot like me. I tried medication and CBT for a year but I've had mental illnesses for over almost two decades now; they're too well-ingrained and treatment-resistant I guess. And continuing with treatments while unemployed just isn't possible, so I stopped late 2014.

I've been unemployed for a little over 2 years now and feel the same way. Sometimes I so desperately want to eat healthy, go to the gym and all that... To get my ****ing life together while I have this time! But I simply cannot dredge up the motivation. How does one "improve" their motivation, or confidence for that matter, when you have virtually none to start with? It's a conundrum I haven't figured out yet.

I've always been a night owl but now I'm completely ****ed up. I sleep until 2-3 PM every day and don't bother going to bed until it's almost dawn. Insomnia usually keeps me awake 2-3 hours after I drag myself to bed, too. I try to justify my uselessness by doing everything I can for my parents like running errands and cooking for them. But I know it's not enough. Society associates peoples' worth with their income; thus I am worthless.

You say you've only been off the meds since Nov 2015 -- that's only like two months. It took me probably 6 months to stop feeling all the side effects after I quit cold-turkey. The electric shock sensations in my brain held on the longest. Just saying you might need to give it more time.

[elnarco]

Originally Posted by OneInBillions

Sounds a lot like me. I tried medication and CBT for a year but I've had mental illnesses for over almost two decades now; they're too well-ingrained and treatment-resistant I guess. And continuing with treatments while unemployed just isn't possible, so I stopped late 2014.

I've been unemployed for a little over 2 years now and feel the same way. Sometimes I so desperately want to eat healthy, go to the gym and all that... To get my ****ing life together while I have this time! But I simply cannot dredge up the motivation. How does one "improve" their motivation, or confidence for that matter, when you have virtually none to start with? It's a conundrum I haven't figured out yet.

I've always been a night owl but now I'm completely ****ed up. I sleep until 2-3 PM every day and don't bother going to bed until it's almost dawn. Insomnia usually keeps me awake 2-3 hours after I drag myself to bed, too. I try to justify my uselessness by doing everything I can for my parents like running errands and cooking for them. But I know it's not enough. Society associates peoples' worth with their income; thus I am worthless.

You say you've only been off the meds since Nov 2015 -- that's only like two months. It took me probably 6 months to stop feeling all the side effects after I quit cold-turkey. The electric shock sensations in my brain held on the longest. Just saying you might need to give it more time.

That's a harsh medical treatment system you have in the USA. I would have imagined that if someone falls on hard times, there would be an exemption from paying for treatment and or medication. In the UK luckily I don't have that problem.

On the other hand, you have done well to stay off medication for so long. Next week I'm going to commit myself to going to the gym just once a week. I'm going to go each Monday and take it from there. I'm hoping that once I get started I will immediately feel the motivation to go 3 times a week..the problem is just getting started.

I have in the past successfully withdrawn cold turkey, from ssri meds and experienced brain zaps & nausea for months after. That was hard and I know I will never take ssri antidepressants again.

Lately I was on zyprexa. This is what I stopped cold turkey last November. Side effects of weight gain, pissing the bed at night, high blood sugars (I'm already a diabetic), feeling like a zombie...I couldn't stand it anymore. If only I can get my *** up and out every day I might have a shot at rebuilding my life.

I just want to recover naturally, if that is even possible after all the prescription drugs I've been on over the years. My Dr says she thinks I "need something" on account of the fact that I've been on these meds most of my life. I don't agree with this and believe that given time and change in lifestyle I can still turn my life around. It's just so hard to get started.

Originally Posted by elnarco

Next week I'm going to commit myself to going to the gym just once a week. I'm going to go each Monday and take it from there. I'm hoping that once I get started I will immediately feel the motivation to go 3 times a week..the problem is just getting started.

(...)

If only I can get my *** up and out every day I might have a shot at rebuilding my life.

I just want to recover naturally, if that is even possible after all the prescription drugs I've been on over the years. My Dr says she thinks I "need something" on account of the fact that I've been on these meds most of my life. I don't agree with this and believe that given time and change in lifestyle I can still turn my life around. It's just so hard to get started.

Well, if that is it I want to recommend this book by Paul Wider: "Overcoming Depression and Manic Depression (Bipolar Disorder) A Whole-Person Approach" – May 15, 2003.

He made it without medication and how to that is in his book. When it comes to motivation, may be you can google some articles about motivation?

All the best!