[LostIntrovert]

I find that I tend to criticize myself relentlessly, and I think I mostly do it as a defense mechanism to protect myself from the criticisms and rejections of others. The reason I think it’s a defense mechanism is because of the anxiety I feel whenever a therapist tries to work with me on toning down my inner critic. I feel like I have to anticipate anything other people might say and set the bar for myself as low as possible, because I know I am likely to crumble if I encounter any significant criticism or disappointment or rejection that I haven’t gone over several times beforehand in my mind.

Anyone else do this?

[Stellaclaire]

Yes. Constantly. Same reasons. And she tells me I'm unbelievably harsh when she looks at my thought log, and I don't really know how to tell her that those are only the ones I can make myself write down.

[Stellaclaire]

Originally Posted by LostIntrovert

I find that I tend to criticize myself relentlessly, and I think I mostly do it as a defense mechanism to protect myself from the criticisms and rejections of others. The reason I think it’s a defense mechanism is because of the anxiety I feel whenever a therapist tries to work with me on toning down my inner critic. I feel like I have to anticipate anything other people might say and set the bar for myself as low as possible, because I know I am likely to crumble if I encounter any significant criticism or disappointment or rejection that I haven’t gone over several times beforehand in my mind.

Anyone else do this?

Yes, constantly, and for the same reasons. And she tells me that I'm unbelievably harsh on myself when she reads my thought log, and I don't even really know how to say that that's just the tip of the iceberg and that I can only bring myself to write down the comparatively mild ones.

[Onward2wards]

Thanks. I never considered this might be a defense mechanism; I always assumed I was just ambitious but impatient with myself. Could be a bit of both, I suppose.

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

I've thought about this regarding myself: I've even started doing it publicly. It's this idea that if I insult myself and self-flagellate, no one will attack me. Hurt myself so no one else has to.