[toomuchcoffee1021]

I have a good life, can't really complain. All my own choices have led me to where I'm at. But once again I'm becoming so overwhelmed with my situation that I'm starting to shut down. I am so behind on work and home responsibilities I don't know where to start so I do nothing. Frozen. I have 2 special needs children, a husband with ptsd, mental issues, rage addiction and problems with money who just prefers to procrastinate and avoid, and I'm carrying the bulk of major decisions. We can't afford our current rental anymore but a new one wouldn't save much money at all, maybe $100 a month. Can't buy a house because it took him too long to find a job and even though my income is excellent it's self-employment so not considered the same. Really f-ed up if you ask me. We have no one to help, can't even find a reliable sitter for the kids to get a couple hours away. I keep looking back on my life at 3 major choice points wishing I had done things SO differently. I have no one to blame but myself. I'd consider suicide except that would also be too complicated and leave more problems. I couldn't bear to leave such a huge mess for everyone else to deal with. But I'm so tired. Don't know where to start. Feeling frozen.

[Fuzzybear]

Welcome to PC

[Ocean Swimmer]

I'm so sorry you're plate is so full.

If you move you'll need to get power and water turned on again and security deposit.

There is a chance a lender would consider your income and maybe you could qualify for a special no down program thru the state or FHA.

The other thing, make a list. Do your priorities and try to forget all the other things on the list.

[Fizzyo]

I too am very very sorry to hear how much you have to contend with.

One step at a time is the only way to go. Ocean Swimmer is talking sense. Keep in touch. We're all here.

[toomuchcoffee1021]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Welcome to PC

Thank you!

[toomuchcoffee1021]

Originally Posted by Ocean Swimmer

I'm so sorry you're plate is so full.

If you move you'll need to get power and water turned on again and security deposit.

There is a chance a lender would consider your income and maybe you could qualify for a special no down program thru the state or FHA.

The other thing, make a list. Do your priorities and try to forget all the other things on the list.

VA program is no down payment. Trouble part is that they require my husband to be employed 30 days. They also want us to refi a credit card that he's run up a huge balance on. But in order to do that the bank requires 90 days employment.

[toomuchcoffee1021]

Our current lease is up in less than 2 months. So we'll end up having to sign a new lease for another year.
Tbh, I'm not sure I want to buy a house with my husband anyway. But a mortgage would be cheaper than rent right now.
Can't move to a cheaper part of town because of my kids, they have to stay in their special needs classes where we are.

[Ocean Swimmer]

I still think you should get a house. If you're in escrow, your current landlord will probably let you go month to month till you're escrow closes.

If you want to later get a divorce you can decide to stay and maybe rent a room to pay on a second TD your husband would need to carry to get his 1/2 of house.

I've been a Real Estate Broker for over 35 years. In CA. But many things are the same for all of the states.

It would be better for your children. You could little by little make improvements to increase the value.

Is there a respite program available to take the kids for a day allowing you some much needed 'me' time?

[annoyedgrunt84]

Fighting the instinct to shut down when you're overwhelmed is something I can relate to. Fighting with yourself so much can be exhausting, I feel so drained from just trying to get through my day.