[Mysterious_Lion]

I thought might put a trigger warning up just in case, I need to let out this out other wise I am going to bottle this up.

I had one week off from my job, I had felt stress from my job alot of stuff inside has changed I was content there when I started like 7 years ago 3 years in change of management happened made the job bit rougher, than job became rougher last year when some mangers couldn't handle the newer boss, thought I couldn't blame them.

I realised I become depressed more and more, I suffer depression before working there but people there made me forget alot of the time, now most people have left my depression tied with that place gone down within the past 12 months.

With one week of holidays I felt stable than I have been in ages today is the day before I go back all the sudden I feel like freaking out about going back I really don't want to.

I been having particular thoughts all day even though I won't do anything about it, as I in a relationship I don't want to put this person in a position of hell. Friends I don't have many in a sense not ones that send me messages to say hello or to check up on me.
I did have a best friend of 7 years last year but he decided to "pretend" he was busy after I told him what been going one with me last year I told him I dealt with depression, I felt hurt after he stop talking and felt abandoned makes me feel less likely to tell anyone about it due to this reaction.

I just find the feelings debilitating at times I am dreading to go back to my job, reason that I still in this job is that I live in a country area city that lacks jobs I am here cause it my only source of income, I had people quit from this job cause they had enough still don't have a job from 1 year ago.

Thanks for listening to me.

[Travelinglady]

You're welcome. Keep looking for jobs. Could you ever move to where a job is?

[Fizzyo]