[knightfallsbelow]

As my husband sleeps snoring next to me I can't help but wonder what his life would be like without me. It is 3:00 in the morning here and I always seem to be awake having thoughts of harming myself around this time. Problem is, everything I would use to end it is either locked in a safe or has been removed from the house, my husband and his trying to make our house a safe place for me. But it doesn't matter, I want to die. I know it is wrong to take your life, according to religion, but I just can't help but feel the world would be a better place without me.

Torn. I am torn. I want to die but I can't stop thinking about what it would do to my husband. That doesn't make me want to live, but it makes me not end it. Will I ever stop feeling this way? Will I ever stop being this train wreck? Will I ever feel that my life is worth living?

[WhatDayIsItAgain]

Yes you will stop feeling this way.
Yes you will stop being a train wreck and regain your equilibrium.
Yes you will regain the feeling that your life is very much worth living... with hope !

I will help too.

[elevatedsoul]

i dont want you to die either...
be strong for all of us please?
its really hard... but you are very strong...
keep fighting for us
things have to change... everything changes...
maybe soon they will have better treatments too...

[knightfallsbelow]

Oh and now the tears come. The bad dreams, because I tried going back to sleep, now follows by the tears. No on drop a hat because I'll cry at that too. Oh this is ridiculous.