[Nike007]

Hello. This may be caused by anxiety, but this relates to depression a lot. I always assume people don't like me and don't want to be near me or talk to me. It's an immediate negative thought, and probably one of my worst ones. But I don't get people and I always feel people are mad at me and I don't understand the difference between angry and frustrated and that confuses me. But I have this field trip coming up, and we have to deal with rooms, and none of my friends are coming, so I have to be with random people. But we have to choose rooms. So we had a decision, but the rooming schedule messed up. So a leader at our school (whom I'm not fond of) decided who would be with whom. I didn't like it, but said fine. I saw the social worker after that. Seeing the social worker is good, but it drains my emotional energy. I feel really depressed/irritable depression for an hour before I get sad depression and want to cry and be by myself. But we talked about this, and I still feel sad about this issue. After school, I told my music teacher what was going on, and we looked at the sheet and I got to choose what I wanted. Me. I don't like making choices that hurt others because I'm a kind, and really anxious, person, but I do want my choices. Teens apparently are very selfish, well according to the social worker, and don't think of others, which is something I don't do. I do think of others constantly because of social anxiety.

Anyways, lost topic. I told my music teacher I don't like making these decisions because no one really likes me or cares where I am because I have no friends going on the trip. She told me that's not true, and people like me and she asked why I say this. I didn't respond because I was in a sad depressive mind, and would have cried. I feel people don't like me all the time. How does one get rid of that feeling? How do I make myself feel people love me?

Social anxiety disorder, GAD, OCD, and panic attacks

Lexapro, 10 mg

[Skeezyks]

Hello Nike007: Thank you for sharing your concern. I don't know how you get rid of the feeling people don't like you & replace it with the feeling that people love you. There are, of course, lots of self-help techniques one could try. You can read about these in books & on-line. Perhaps some other members, here on PC, will yet come along with some suggestions of their own. What occurs to me is that, perhaps, it is more a matter of finding some interest in your life that makes you less concerned about, less focused on, what others think of you. I imagine that if one has a passion for something in their life, what others may think simply becomes less important & gradually fades. But that's just my personal thought on the subject. I send you my best wishes...

[Fizzyo]

❤️

Some people won't like you. Some will hate you. Fact of life. Some people will like you and some will love you. Another fact of life. I don't think that's the issue though. Do you like you? Do you love you?

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by George H.

Some people won't like you. Some will hate you. Fact of life. Some people will like you and some will love you. Another fact of life. I don't think that's the issue though. Do you like you? Do you love you?

I believe I do sometimes, but other times I hate myself. I like being alone, but wish more people would want to talk to me about things. Other than adults, though adults are more interesting. But my self worth isn't based on how others like me, just that being alone gets boring when I can't get anywhere without my parents really.

Social anxiety disorder, GAD, OCD, and panic attacks

Lexapro, 10 mg

I see. You're younger then. A work in progress. Do you think maybe you are limiting yourself? There is a place for everyone. The world is full of closed minds and adversarial personalities... but also full of like minds and open minds. Do you live in a small town?

[EnglishDave]

You like being alone, but wish more people would talk to you… and you have Anxiety issues. There is the dilemma I used to know so well. The Anxiety can really be a barrier to you making the initial approach, so you may also be unintentionally isolating yourself and seeming unapproachable.

Obviously, I do not know how you feel able to act around your Band mates, but with this upcoming trip I feel you have the perfect opportunity to push yourself forward a little more, engage a few of them in conversations about the social aspects of the trip. If you put yourself out there a little, chances are others will open up and be more friendly towards you. You do all have something exciting in common in this trip.

Dave.

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by George H.

I see. You're younger then. A work in progress. Do you think maybe you are limiting yourself? There is a place for everyone. The world is full of closed minds and adversarial personalities... but also full of like minds and open minds. Do you live in a small town?

Probably. My social worker says I am very picky on whom I want to hang with. So ya, maybe I'm narrow-minded.

I live in a 40 000+ community. I don't know what's considered small by your definition though.

Social anxiety disorder, GAD, OCD, and panic attacks

Lexapro, 10 mg

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by EnglishDave

You like being alone, but wish more people would talk to you… and you have Anxiety issues. There is the dilemma I used to know so well. The Anxiety can really be a barrier to you making the initial approach, so you may also be unintentionally isolating yourself and seeming unapproachable.


Obviously, I do not know how you feel able to act around your Band mates, but with this upcoming trip I feel you have the perfect opportunity to push yourself forward a little more, engage a few of them in conversations about the social aspects of the trip. If you put yourself out there a little, chances are others will open up and be more friendly towards you. You do all have something exciting in common in this trip.


Dave.

And I know the whole top paragraph is true. I make myself unapproachable (accidentally) because I'm too nervous to talk to others, along with being introverted.

I just know that I'm considered an "out-of-the-box" type of person to most people. Like, I have bad social skills that make people don't want to talk to me because I do stuff others don't like and I don't realize they don't like it.

Social anxiety disorder, GAD, OCD, and panic attacks

Lexapro, 10 mg

[elevatedsoul]

do you like youself?

dont care what other people think about you, its whatyou think about yourself...
if you think you are a great person, there will be people tht see you as great person...

if you put yourself down all the time... people will see that...
its what you think about yourself... right?

i have alot of same issues as you, im 26 years old.. but i never opened myself to friendship in school because i put myself down...
everyone has good things abouyt them self.. you must look within and see what is good and focus on yourself, what you think is good about yourself... its not that people dont like you, maybe its that people dont like how you like yourself... i know all about it, its not easy to find things to like about yourself, but you are young and you can be very very successful, im not saying you are not trying dont take me the wrong way please, i just wan you to see how good you are, you are unique and special and people will love you for the way you are if you open yourself toit, you just have to love yourself first... ok? you sound really nice to me, i like you

edit:

im really socially awkward, i do alot of weird things and say things that make people look at me weird, but they stilll like me, is the fact that im just trying to be myself... so dont think im not weird and i dunno what you mean... i do!!

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by elevatedsoul

do you like youself?

dont care what other people think about you, its whatyou think about yourself...
if you think you are a great person, there will be people tht see you as great person...

if you put yourself down all the time... people will see that...
its what you think about yourself... right?

i have alot of same issues as you, im 26 years old.. but i never opened myself to friendship in school because i put myself down...
everyone has good things abouyt them self.. you must look within and see what is good and focus on yourself, what you think is good about yourself... its not that people dont like you, maybe its that people dont like how you like yourself... i know all about it, its not easy to find things to like about yourself, but you are young and you can be very very successful, im not saying you are not trying dont take me the wrong way please, i just wan you to see how good you are, you are unique and special and people will love you for the way you are if you open yourself toit, you just have to love yourself first... ok? you sound really nice to me, i like you

I guess people see that I don't like myself. I try to like myself, I really do, but I have put downs by other people so it's hard to like yourself when many people in your life put you down. I'm called fat constantly, which is partially true, but I'm not even 200 pounds. People make fun of what I wear, how I act. I'm at the point where if people compliment me, I don't know if they actually me it. I tend to not thank them like I mean it unless it's a small thing like my shirt. If they tell me I'm smart, I barely smile and immediately go into neutral face. It's pretty bad, and right now the whole compliment thing is out of control, but maybe people see that I don't thank them for them saying nice things.

Having social anxiety disorder makes me feel judgement 24/7, and not good judgement. I guess for me, it's like "when someone is complimenting me or being nice or being interested in me, I always wonder if they actually like me or if I'm being used or being judged".

Thanks though .

Social anxiety disorder, GAD, OCD, and panic attacks

Lexapro, 10 mg

Originally Posted by Nike007

Probably. My social worker says I am very picky on whom I want to hang with. So ya, maybe I'm narrow-minded.

I live in a 40 000+ community. I don't know what's considered small by your definition though.

Social anxiety disorder, GAD, OCD, and panic attacks

Lexapro, 10 mg

40,000 should be enough. There may be a "too picky" but there is nothing wrong with being picky. There are people out there you will click with and vice versa. Sometimes you pick them and sometimes they pick you. Sometimes it just happens. I had best friends and I had hang with friends but I didn't find soulmate friends until I was well into my twenties. I've been blessed with a few. As for people who would insult you or judge you on appearance... what are they worth anyway? You'll find your coolness and lightness of being in your own time and be comfortable with who you are. Give it time

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by George H.

40,000 should be enough. There may be a "too picky" but there is nothing wrong with being picky. There are people out there you will click with and vice versa. Sometimes you pick them and sometimes they pick you. Sometimes it just happens. I had best friends and I had hang with friends but I didn't find soulmate friends until I was well into my twenties. I've been blessed with a few. As for people who would insult you or judge you on appearance... what are they worth anyway? You'll find your coolness and lightness of being in your own time and be comfortable with who you are. Give it time

Thanks. It's my family that insults me, not friends. But family is worse because you have to love the, anyway. I have a few good friends, but I feel very lonely. Like, I see them a few times, but barely in school and no one messages me. A friend did invite me somewhere, which is a first because no one invites me anywhere. I always invite other people somewhere. Anyways, thanks for your advice.

Social anxiety disorder, GAD, OCD, and panic attacks

Lexapro, 10 mg

[elevatedsoul]

from what i've seen, when you get into your twenties your body will change... i had a friend that was a bit like you describe, but he was taller than me so about 6' and maybe 200-250lbs but everyone made fun of him - now he's really good looking and married

how you see yourself means alot more than you think it does!
its hard to see yourself different when everyone is telling you what you should look like, it doesnt matter what you look like as long as your happy... you can do anything you set your mind do and dont let anyone tell you other wise

kids are mean and they say things just to say it, if you feel you are being harrassed though maybe you can report it to the teacher or principal or something.. because i've seen kids do things i would put them in juvy for if i was an adult and seen that stuff...

you definitely are smart and thats something you should use for your advantage, being smart does bring social anxiety somtimes i think... i was always in advanced classes and i think its great to pursue the best education you can...

i think you are like me and you think about things alot, you think about them tooooooo much even... i know i over-analyze everything... but im trying to learn even today that i dont have to do that... you can just be yourself, when you start to get nervous thats whn you tense up and maybe you do things people notice - i do super weird things when im nervous, like i play with my hair.. i have long hair btw... my hair is like... almost to my butt?
but if you are just being yourself you wont worry about those things and you'll just have fun...
it might take practice because i know social phobia isn't something that you can just get over, like i said i still have it.. but its better, i can talk to people and stuff...
you can do anything you set your mind to you know?

sorry my adhd - i will stop rambling, i just want you to stay in school and get a ggood education!!!!!

[EnglishDave]

Count yourself blessed that you have a few good friends, work on those bonds for they are the ones that matter - and that environment will make you feel more positive in other situations.

It is terrible when it is family members who are the most abusive, all I can say is rise above them - they are projecting their own insecurities and small-mindedness. If they are not close relatives, avoid them as much as possible.

I still find it almost impossible to take a compliment. On our Sister Site I have a reputation for being caring, but when someone points this out to me I feel undeserving, guilty even that a glimmer of goodness has entered my World. I have never been able to resolve this issue myself, but would implore you to trust that people can be genuinely complimentary towards you. It is a mistrustful, sorrowful life with a negative view of everyone.

Dave.

Family... unfortunately we don't get to pick them