[Crook32]

So yesterday was my last day at the day hospital. I am not sure I was ready to leave but felt like I had gotten everything out of it that I can. Plus I really want to return to work I have been out for over a month. Problem is my memory is terrible from the ECT. So I am not sure how productive I can be at work.

I see my pdoc tonight and have to come to a decision about work. My therapist does not want me going back to work yet. She wanted me to stay at the day hospital longer. I see her tomorrow and feel like it is going to be an awkward appointment. I feel like she is mad at me. I know she thinks I am stubborn and don't listen.

I just don't know what to do. I feel like such a burden to everyone. I feel like I should just disappear.

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[elevatedsoul]

you shouldn't just disappear... its so easy to feel like that, but its not what other people want either you know...
im sure your therapist isn't "mad" at you, just concerned and wants you to be well...
i know when i was in the hospital i should of stayed for longer too, everyone wanted me to stay for longer but i was being treated for the wrong disorder so they weren't really adjusting the meds or anything to really help... just kept me from hurting myself and increased all the meds and added moodstabilizer and stuff... i think the best thing about the hospital is just they can try to keep you safer... dunno about the med stuff because i kept telling everyone i didnt think i was bipolar but i guess everyone just thought i was being manic and not wanting to accept the diagnosis... but maybe they do adjust meds to really help some people in there, guess i was just a little unlucky with that

i think you should try to take it easy, dont put too much stress on yourself ... gotta be kind to yourself you know?
even when we start to feel better it seems easy to be triggered back into another episode...

take care

[Crook32]

So my pdoc won't let me go back to work next week. He wants me to wait until April 15th but did say maybe go back part time in two weeks if we see any improvement to my memory.

I am so frustrated and discouraged.

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[Fizzyo]

Hi Crook32,

Sorry you had such a disappointment!
Sometimes discretion is the better part of valour, even if the more frustrating part.

It may be even more frustrating to go back too early and become ill and have to stop again as a result.

I wish you a speedy and long lasting recovery and success when you do go back to work.