So alone

It is 4 o'clock in the morning. I have my husband snoring next to me and my dog snoring at my feet. I am so alone. Even during the middle of the day, when the house is lively, I am so alone. I have tried to explain my depression to my husband and he just doesn't understand. I am so alone. I try to explain it all to my psychologist and he gets frustrated with me. I am so alone.

I am so alone. My thoughts seem to always be on the dark side. They center on emptiness and death. I am so alone. I try to reach out to friends. To explain to them what is happening. I reach out grasping for the reason to remain alive. I am so alone.

The only reason I am able to come up with is that my husband loves me and he would be devistated if anything happened to me. But at what point will that no longer matter to me? When will the darkness become so intense that nothing will keep me here. I am so alone.

It is 4:14 in the morning. My husband is snoring next to me and my dog is snoring at my feet. Is it time for me to leave? The time draws near. I am so alone.

You're not allowed to leave the dog. Those are the rules.

I know it is frustrating when no one understands what you're going through.

I feel very alone a lot too.

Thinking of you and sending you lots of healing hugs.

i know...
stay strong...

I feel very alone too and I have no one around. I know you can have a hundred people around and still feel isolated and alone.... even with people who understand. Hope you are able to feel better knightfalls