Dreading appointment

I am not looking forward to my appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow. I don't really feel comfortable with her. I feel like she doesn't think my problems are serious and I don't know... i just don't feel right with her. I am also not looking forward to getting weighed. I gained back the weight i lost because i am in the overeating/binging part of the cycle. I feel so embarrassed by it. Ugh i am dreading the appointment.

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I understand. I am terribly embarrased by my weight gain and seeing my pdoc and therapist only seems to reinforce it - after all. it is the medication they gave me which is most responsible.

There was a time I was worried about my sessions. Namely, I was worried I might not be 'good'enough. Would they think I was 'sick' enough? But I came to the realization that they have many many clients and there certainly must be someone worse than me. I remind myself too that there is no award for being 'proper' in the session. I feel a lot more comfortable now.

I also am embarrassed about my weight gain (due to meds). I get what you mean about not being taken seriously. I had an oncologist tell me that I was just fine when I was in the midst of a gallbladder attack. In his mind, I didn't have cancer so all was well. I hated that.

Do you have to get weighed. I have some doctors who respected my request to not be weighed Bc it makes me so uncomfortable/is triggering. Not all doctors have been willing to do this though...

I can relate to your concerns about the appointment. I started having chronic insomnia in 2003 brought on by depression/anxiety. At first I went to my GP for sleep aids and anti-depressive meds. The only med that 'helped' was a benzo called lorazepam. It knocked me out but upon waking it was though I had no sleep at all. After a couple of years I sought out a psychiatrist and they tried various anti-anxiety/anti-depression meds to no avail. I have always fought against SSRI's and SNRI's due to their horrific side effects(like weight gain, etc)and the fear they would change me. In 2011 I discovered I was eligible for VA med treatment(go figure, I left the USAF in 1984). They immediately set me up with a psychiatrist and therapy. Between the experiences with civilian and VA treatment I learned to self advocate. I learned the terminology and was detailed in explaining the condition. As the VA frequently rotates doctors I had to advocate to a new one two times a year. I realized that I was treating each of these visits as a job interview. I had to sell myself. Being on SSDI it is important to be specific and be sure all information is documented. There are quizzes on PC on the mental health conditions you are experiencing. Take them. Ruminate on each question and write down your thoughts. Keep these notes and go over them so when you go to the psychiatrist you'll have them fresh on your mind. Being scared or worried about your visit is perfectly normal. I too do not think the docs realize how serious my issue is but they continue to provide me care and the notes reflect an ongoing problem. You know you have an issue and you need help. Know yourself better by gaining insight to that which ails you. It sounds strange but in this day and age we seem to always have to sell ourselves. Keep us updated and get the help you need. Graciouslly yours, M Poirot

Talk to your psychiatrist about your concerns. It will help clear the air. Your psychiatrist may not realize he/she is coming off the way he/she is.