[UsedToBeNormal]

Maybe someone can help me here. A few months ago, I was enjoying life. Now I’m hating life. What happened? Developers had been trying to buy my home and large garage for 3 years. My other neighbors wanted to sell, but I fought it strongly, even remonstrating against the town getting other neighbors to sign a petition. Nothing worked, and I eventually found myself in the middle of a disaster, where beautiful woods and neighbors houses were demolished. I guess I finally cracked one night from looking at the destruction around me for so long, and anticipating a giant warehouse at my back door in the coming year. So I decided to sell my home of 30 years that my family and I had rebuilt and loved so much. We couldn’t stand the sight of the destruction around us where there used to be beautiful large trees, nice homes and wildlife.
We received a very generous price for the home, and moved to a nicer, larger home in a different area. At first I was excited about this new home, but after the first winter, I was really depressed and longing for my old home and large pole barn/garage. My garage was built by many family members, and I was so proud of it. It was my livelihood, as many friends and family gathered there for auto work, parties, and to just hang out. My first winter without it turned out to be very devastating with the loss of this important part of my work and social life.
I have so many regrets now over selling this under the relentless pressure from developers. I just wish I could go back to that day of the decision and not sell it. This has been going over in my mind for months and I can’t get it to stop. I’ve spiraled into a major depression where I can barely function and I’m wondering how much more I can take. I started therapy sessions 3 mos ago in January because I knew I was depressed. Since then, I have tried several different AD meds, but I can't stand the side effects on them for long. I just want to stop this ruminating about past regrets and move on with my plans to rebuild another garage or try to sell this home that's too large for me and try to get back to my old activities. Help, please. I’m longing to have my old way of life back. Really, I want my home back but it’s already been demolished. I have to move forward somehow or I may not survive. Am I doing the right things with therapy and trying different meds. I’m to the point where I think I could need to be hospitalized some days. Much anxiety and depression and no clear way out. Help, please.

Hospitalization is not a horrible thing. It has been my safety net a few times.

I understand the loss of one's sense of 'home'. My heart aches that I can never return to it or experience the same again. Perhaps it is unhealthy but I try to keep the memory alive. But, and it has taken 5 long years, I have struggled to build a new existance. It will never be the same but it has it's own emotional rewards to me. Search for and build new experiences. Find even a small thing to cling to about your new home and life. Maybe it is a tree, maybe it is even a squeak in the floor.

I sometimes complete a worksheet comparing evidence for and against my thoughts or negative moods. Here is a version I found online.

https://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&sourc...4ANRB4qec00TGA

[Skeezyks]

Hello UsedToBeNormal: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral... from the Skeezyks! May you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

Since you mentioned that you lived in your old home for 30 years, I'm going to presume that you must be a bit older. (The Skeezyks is in his mid 60's.) Yes, I believe you are doing the correct thing trying different med's & participating in therapy. Given that you're feeling as though you may not survive in your present mental state, I think it is important to investigate all available options.

I have to tell you, however, that I have tried the psych med's & therapy. Plus I've been hospitalized twice. And I have not found any of it to be of much value. My personal perspective is that all of this stuff may be helpful for younger folks. But none of it has been of any particular benefit to me as an older person. Perhaps others have had different experiences.

It is true that the problems I have are of very long standing. So, where yours are apparently of recent development, resulting from the loss of your cherished home, you may have more success with these kinds of mental health interventions than I have had.

My thinking, with regard to this, is that having the opportunity to talk about these kinds of concerns with others who are of similar age, & who are having similar mental health struggles, may be one of the best options. So, while you are trying the med's (it can take a while to find the right one), & participating in therapy, I would also suggest checking into the possibility of joining a support group, preferably one composed of people of similar age if such a thing exists where you are located.

I also wonder about the possibility of your becoming involved in doing some volunteer work of some sort; perhaps just starting out a very few hours per week... whatever you can manage. Helping others is pretty-much an accepted means of feeling better about oneself & thereby easing depression. Plus, if you're busy helping others, there is less time available to ruminate on what you have lost.

Anyway, these are just some suggestions for other things you might consider should you find that what you're doing now just isn't getting the job done. And also, keep posting here on PC. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more connected to the community you will become.

[elevatedsoul]

had to move out of my home with parents last year... went to that home from fostercare back to parents... things look wrong now... its much trouble and heart ache...
much pain was at the old home but my memories lie there...
manay triggers all around...
we have to try to accept things as different...
nothing is solid and many things change as fluid...
we will be ok... things shock the system sometimes...
we are not reasy for it sometimes...

[seesaw]

You are going through very serious grief for the loss of your home. In a way that's normal. It's okay to grieve, go easy on yourself. It sounds like the grief maybe triggered a greater depression in you. I think, and this is just my observation, that maybe you need to forgive yourself for making the decision to sell. You can be happy again once you make peace with yourself.

Seesaw

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