i'm feeling seriously hurt.

today's my sister's birthday, and out of the kindness of my heart ordered her a gift

she rang me today.. " just letting you know, i don't want you to wish me happy birthday. i don't want any ****ing gifts from you... remember you're not part of this ****ing family, and goodbye"

sharp kick in the stomach or what.. i know my family don't support me and they don't like me being part of events- christmas, birthdays, easter, what ever else... but to be told that at 6 in the morning... i feel really hurt.

what the hell did i do... just try to put her first even though we never see each other, i still tried.

[StrawberryFieldsss]

I wish I could give you double hugs. I'm really sorry for the pain youre experiencing right now, hon.

[winter4me]

I am so sorry. (((((((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))))

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

i'm feeling seriously hurt.

today's my sister's birthday, and out of the kindness of my heart ordered her a gift

she rang me today.. " just letting you know, i don't want you to wish me happy birthday. i don't want any ****ing gifts from you... remember you're not part of this ****ing family, and goodbye"

sharp kick in the stomach or what.. i know my family don't support me and they don't like me being part of events- christmas, birthdays, easter, what ever else... but to be told that at 6 in the morning... i feel really hurt.

what the hell did i do... just try to put her first even though we never see each other, i still tried.

You tried with an open and generous heart. That is all you can do.

For the last several years I have sent gift cards to my sister and her husband. On Christmas of 2014 I sent them gifts I 'thought' they would like because I knew what their interests were. My sister thanked me with a caveat: "I didn't need these things and, I gave some of it away". Like you I placed some thought into gift giving and it was thrown back in my face. This treatment is not new from the family(parents are now deceased). It dates back to my childhood. I opened my heart many times and received a slap in the face. I was not allowed to be myself. Whenever I began to enjoy something it was taken away from me or(as an adult) condemned for being worldly and sinful. At 13(puberty) I began to have homosexual desires which came out at 18. I made the mistake of telling them and now I'm living in abject shame and guilt even though I hide my desires or have almost lost all interest in it. My remaining kin(sister) made clear that 'anything' that occurred in my life prior to 1997 was never to be discussed(as though sex was all I did). I'm 59 now. I can't change to please her or my dead parents. They molded and shaped me into a self loathing, insecure, depressed, rudderless and anxious person. I am responsible for many of my own failings but, at the same time I have to live with the legacy of their method of my upbringing.

Don't beat yourself over this. If your heart was clean and you had no ulterior motive in giving these gifts you are not guilty of anything. It may take time but, walking away from the family may in the long run free you of any chains they placed around you. In time they may realize that their treatment of you was wrong and ask your forgiveness.

[Fuzzybear]

I'm so sorry (((((((((( hugs ))))))))))

[dexter]

Shattered and Hercule... these family members have such judgement and hatred in their hearts they can't even see to accept a gift simply and graciously. It is ironic how this makes them horrible people worthy of harsher judgement than whatever is in their heads against you. Hope you are able to put this aside, it is 100% on them, not on you.

[hopeless2015]

HUGS

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[smartiesparty]

I am so sorry. Your sister or any members of your family don't deserve a gift at all. They are awful people for treating you like that.