Lately I am feeling like every area in my life is just "dead end". I don't know if it's depression on my part that's making me feel that way.

At my job I feel like it's dead end because the people I work with are not as nice as they used to be. The turnover is high and lately I don't recognize the people that I see. The ones that have been around a while seem moody now. It's like they have changed. I used to love my job and looked forward to going to work each day. I still like my job, but I feel like it's not as nice as it used to be.

At where I go to church, I feel like I am not connecting very well there. After a service, I would consider having a good day if I could talk to two people briefly. I feel like the people there are into their cliques and the atmosphere feels like a country club more than a Godly place. The reasons I stay and tolerate it is because my only friend goes there. I'm afraid that if I were to go somewhere else, we could drift apart. Also I like the minister and the service format there is hard to find elsewhere. In the past I've done a lot of "church hunting" and found it to be a frustrating experience. I have some hopes that it could get better, but it hasn't.

At where I live, it's very hard to make friends. And it's very isolating. There are times when it's nice to be alone, but it seems like it's that way more than I want it to be. When I go to the pool area, I'm either alone (most times) or I would meet people that I absolutely have nothing in common with. I've thought about moving out, but so many people have been talking me out of it. Plus I have fears that I might regret moving since it could be a financial risk in doing so.

So, I wonder if I should just hanker down and change everything that I have going for me. Or should I change with the way I am as a person? I guess that the latter would be the easiest and best way. But I feel like I try the best I can and this is what I have to show for it. So, I don't know!

[Clara22]

Hi Will,
Thanks a lot. Sometimes it happens to me, too, I mean, thinking that it's all dead end.
I do not know in your case, but I think in mine, both, I and the world I inhabit have changed.
Regarding me, I have changed not only because of depression but also for aging. I am more critical and have lesser patience than before, just to tell something. And also
the world surrounding me has changed and sometimes to me seeing the "negative" changes of the world is easier than seeing its positive changes. I have a hard time adjusting with current ideals and ethics, for example.
When I was young, improving the World, dying for your ideas, being willing to donate your life for a cause were a big deal. People used to take care of their beloved ones that were aging and regarded those with authority. It was not a perfect world at all, there were too much injustice and violence, but somehow I knew how to survive and live in it. Now it is different. There are changes for the good (now we are in democracy, for example) but I sometimes struggle to appreciate that. I see that people are isolated and lack the solidarity we use to have and that affects me a lot

[Skeezyks]

Hello will19: I don't know... from my perspective... things just change over time. Nothing ever stays the same... for better or worse... So from my perspective, what is important here is to recognize that what you're experiencing is simply the way life is.

Also, of course, it is possible that your depression is clouding your perspective. It is possible as well that you're unconsciously manifesting your depression to others & that they're steering clear of you as a result because they don't want to deal with it. So there are a variety of different possibilities here. Perhaps more than one is at play.

My personal perspective would be that perhaps you might consider trying to make a change in one area & see how that goes. I wouldn't recommend throwing the baby out with the bath water, as the saying goes. And as far as changing yourself goes... well... if there are things about yourself that you'd like to change, certainly by all means do what you can to try to be more the person you'd like to be. However, trying to change who you are now into some other type of person whom you imagine may fit in better within the various environments you frequent (i.e. work, church, & residence) seems to me to be a losing proposition. Even if you are successful at doing this now, you likely will be faced with doing it all over again the next time things seem to have taken another down turn. I wish you well...

[Fizzyo]

❤️ ❤️

[Fuzzybear]