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#1
May 06, 2016, 10:56 AM
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It's such a paradox to me. In the mornings I'm excited when I wake up that I'll be going to work and my projects that are awaiting, but then I get to work and my projects are a lot bigger mess than they should be (thanks to the people who were doing the job before me) and I have to do a lot of starting from scratch, which takes more concentration than I can give. Ug!
It doesn't help that I'm on deadline...but it's like I get to work and sit down and actually see the work that needs to be done and I just don't care. Don't care, don't care, don't care. Is it time to go home yet. Then a co-worker comes in wanting to know my impression on something of hers she's working on and all I can think is don't care, don't care, don't care. I feel terrible that this don't care part of me is taking over. I like that in the mornings I am excited and happy to go to work but don't understand why once I'm faced with my work I start to fade so quickly. Of course, it take all of my energy just to get up, shower, get dressed, do my hair and make up (I work in a very conservative office so I always have to wear a suit and wear make up). I don't know, maybe it's just too much stress...I don't want to leave my job, I like it and I like the people I work with, and I just went back to work after 18 months on disability, plus they paid to move me up here for the job...I think i really just need the weekend off. Badly. Seesaw |
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#2
May 06, 2016, 11:26 AM
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Seesaw, I haven't woken up excited in years! I'm jealous.To get to the point where you're happy in the morning is a great sign that you're on a good path. Do you think a different job would help? How do you feel on weekends with free time?
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#3
May 06, 2016, 11:38 AM
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My weekends have been busy with moving lately but I think I will enjoy my free time this weekend if I can get my art studio unpacked and set up.
We'll waking up ready is one thing but having no energy left after getting ready for an hour is very difficult. Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk
__________________
 What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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#4
May 06, 2016, 11:47 AM
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Yeah, lack of energy is a huge problem with depression. I'm impressed you are able to deal with moving. My wife has suggested we sell our house after owning it 17 years - which causes me great anxiety. I don't know how I'd find the stamina to deal with so many years of clutter. Just looking at all the *hit in my garage overwhelms me.
Glad to hear you have a hobby - I imagine art being therapeutic? |
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#5
May 06, 2016, 11:50 AM
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Art is very therapeutic when I get to do it.
I don't know how I got through moving, especially since I had moved 3 times previously in the same damn year. But somehow, will the help of friends and family, I got it all done. But nothing is unpacked yet. That's on my agenda, although I will do so very slowly and at my leisure, this weekend. Seesaw |
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#6
May 06, 2016, 01:32 PM
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Did your disability company send you back to work before you were ready?
That's what happened to me many years ago. After 2 years of disability, they forced me to go back to work by not paying my disability anymore. I had to work part-time for 2 years. I had no choice. I was still dealing with fatigue. It took me quite a while to recover. But on the bright side of things, I think that going back to work is what made me better. Even if I worked part-time for 2 years. |
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#7
May 06, 2016, 01:34 PM
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Well, no my disability wasn't up yet. But I thought I was ready to go back to work.
Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk
__________________
What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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#8
May 06, 2016, 01:41 PM
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I managed to get one project done and off my desk for today. But I really feel like I should have completed this other r project today too...but it's just not going to happen this week and will have to wait to be completed until Monday. I will do everything I can get done on it so it can go off as early as possible Monday morning.
Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk
__________________
What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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