[Onward2wards]

I hate sleep these days. I just wake up feeling a bit more depressed, and realizing it leaves less and less time to deal with an ever increasing supply of life's daily annoyances to deal with. Then it's time to sleep again, realizing I have somehow accomplished little to nothing of personal meaning or value. Lather, rinse, repeat, question basic sanity. This is madness, and definitely not Sparta. Oh wait, here comes the big black cloud of slings and arrows. Maybe it is Sparta, right at the end of that movie. Where did all the interesting bits go? I blinked.

[seesaw]

I don't know about hating sleep, but I hate the routine of trying to find things that I might be interested in doing and getting no real pleasure out of anything. I guess I hate sleep because it seems i need so much of it right now. Every day seems exactly the same and I'm completely unmotivated to do anything and when I do get motivated, I have no concentration or focus to get through anything.

Yeah, depression sucks.

Seesaw

[nomdeplume83]

I love sleep. The past week, I've been going to bed around 6 pm every night and sleeping for 12 hours. It's the only way for me to get out of my head and not deal with life. I'd give anything to just go to sleep for good.

[elevatedsoul]

love hate relationship with sleep ..

but im so tired

the elusiveness of solidarity..

if i could figure out which is the dream and which is reality..
or figure out if reality is the dream

i wanna sleep till its over...
but the waste of action involved in sleep seems to delude my perseverance
waking up with a blank sheet every morning trying to figure out what page im on or what book it belongs to - life is a decomposing joke that doesnt know when to stop

hopefully we all wake up from the real dream soon to discover ourselves in a better place..

onward we march

[DayAtATime1]

Originally Posted by seesaw

Every day seems exactly the same and I'm completely unmotivated to do anything and when I do get motivated, I have no concentration or focus to get through anything.

Yeah, depression sucks.

Seesaw

I couldn't have described my life better...

[DayAtATime1]

Originally Posted by anichka83

I love sleep. It's the only way for me to get out of my head and not deal with life. I'd give anything to just go to sleep for good.

I feel the same way...

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

I love sleep too - but I do need help in the morning. I usually play one of my spotify lists to energise myself - once I have had some coffee, chugged back 10mg of citalopram, and abluted and dressed I can face the day.

[AllHere63]

Sleep is a necessary evil. I get very little of it, so, I don't like it.

Originally Posted by Onward2wards

I hate sleep these days. I just wake up feeling a bit more depressed, and realizing it leaves less and less time to deal with an ever increasing supply of life's daily annoyances to deal with. Then it's time to sleep again, realizing I have somehow accomplished little to nothing of personal meaning or value. Lather, rinse, repeat, question basic sanity. This is madness, and definitely not Sparta. Oh wait, here comes the big black cloud of slings and arrows. Maybe it is Sparta, right at the end of that movie. Where did all the interesting bits go? I blinked.

When I started to suffer from insomnia I began to hate my bed. It was painful lying there for eight hours regretting the next day and the dull routine of a mindless job. Blah. The racing thoughts tore apart my mind and body. I was always anxious to get home to sleep but, the fear of the bed returned. I finally quit the job and prepared to end it all. I gave most of my belongings away and bought a weapon. Couldn't do it. I was afraid of hell. Blast it all. Fortunately or maybe not. I discovered I was eligible for VA help and then applied for SSDI and was approved. I got a script for Xanax and Ambien CR. Well, it helps so, so. It's the only way to get somnolence. Does it make me feel better. Hardly. Sometimes they work. Sometimes they don't. It seemed the racing thoughts had dissipated but with a vengeance they returned. No trigger, no rhyme or reason. The meds had minimal effect. Even with about four hours of constantly broken sleep every night I have no idea how I'll be in the AM. This AM up at 02:30. What the deuce? This happens all the time. I may arise weak and dizzy then I got to go slow. Can't get much done today, to weak. The laundry piles up, the place gets dirtier and I don't care. It's harder to analyze much any more. Can't think on one subject for five minutes. Thank goodness I have a Rep Payee. They pay my bills. I get an inkling to do something one minute and the next it's gone. Ta ta thought. What am I missing? When there is a good morning I rush to get chores done. It may be my last chance for another week. I literally live in my bed. My PC is my only link to the outside world. My cat is my only partner. I wait for the somnolence, wait. When it happens off goes the monitor and I get maybe an hour of broken sleep and boom! Back awake. Pissed and angry. Well got to wait another four or six hours before dosing another Xanax. Ever thought you were sleeping but your eyes are open and you're having a dream? Weird. I can't move when this happens. Sometimes the dreams are scary and I have to force my conscience to override my sub-conscience.

So, I like my bed but, I don't. It provides a sense of security but at the same time resentment. I'm 59, alone and with no future. I wish sometimes I would go to sleep and never wake up. Life ain't like that though. We got to suffer and learn something. I think I've learned enough. That's why my weapon is only a few feet away.

[AllHeart]

Sleep is bittersweet. I hate to spend so much time doing it but it's best escape from the misery.

[Noctuary]

I wish I could sleep; at least sleep deeply. Its being awake I hate. I wish I had the courage to die, then I would sleep.

[DayAtATime1]

Originally Posted by Noctuary

Its being awake I hate. I wish I had the courage to die, then I would sleep.

I feel like that a lot too...

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by Noctuary

I wish I could sleep; at least sleep deeply. Its being awake I hate. I wish I had the courage to die, then I would sleep.

I know this.

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk

[twilliamsjr79]

I love sleep but only while the sun is up. At night I'm almost afraid to goto sleep. I guess it's because of the horrible dreams I have.

[OneInBillions]

I love sleep when it's actually restful, but all too often for me it's not. I'm too light a sleeper. And I hate insomnia and bad dreams, which I have all the time.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Noctuary

I wish I could sleep; at least sleep deeply. Its being awake I hate. I wish I had the courage to die, then I would sleep.

I understand too

[with or without you]

I used to love sleep, it feels great and it's a total escape from everything. But now I hate sleep these days because my body will not settle the hell down. I wake up in the middle of the night for no reason after taking melatonin, making sure I've had no caffeine the day before, earplugs in & the curtains totally closed...and bam! Up at 3:30. And then there are other nights where I'm drinking Coke until 8:00 at night and I sleep like a baby the whole night through. And on the days where I haven't gotten enough sleep, my eyes feel like they weigh 30 pounds. I don't know if anyone else feels that way.

It's absolutely maddening.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[with or without you]

Btw - I tried sleeping pills once from my pdoc (trazodone) and the damn things wouldn't wear off when I woke up in the morning for work! I even tried cutting them in half and I could not stand the grogginess I still felt the next day. Sigh...

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[LadyShadow]

I love sleep, its being awake thats the problem too, like others have said. I don't want to die but I would love something to do.

[Askildsen]

I can't get a steady sleep schedule. I am so tired.