[TristeDominicana]

It feels like the more I try to pull myself out of this rut that I am in, the further down I fall. Everything that I do goes wrong. I try to make new friends or rekindle old friendships and I fail. Many people have suggested that maybe I am trying to hard making things worse in the process. My marriage seems to be falling apart. I try to fix it, to keep us together, but I always seem to mess things up more there as well. I'm not sure if I am pushing him away or if he is pulling away himself. We are on this cycle of good and bad between us. Right now, things are good, but I know it will not last very long. Soon, I will be the lying, cheating, lazy, good for nothing, worthless piece of crap wife. He will be telling other women that he is single, all while accusing me of doing the cheating. I already see myself as worthless. I already see how much I ruin everything around me. I see how much better off everyone's lives would be if I wasn't here. How much longer can I bear this before I finally decide that I have had enough?

[Yzen]

Depression paints a dreary picture and tries to darken every corner of the picture, but the picture isn't real. We all have good and bad that happen in our days. These are moments that happen--they don't define you.. You are not worthless. Not at all. You are courageous. You are doing what you can to try to fix things and keep things going.

The "Rains it Pours" title reminded me of a picture and quote I have. Find peace in the rain.

[ExhaustedMom]

Have you tried using CBT? I use it to help me turn around those negative thoughts that are making me feel really depressed.

If you'd like to try it, I use an app on my phone called Pocket CBT but someone in this support group also sent me this link as well if you'd like to try your hand at it.
http://www.burdenbearersdv.com/docum...th_example.pdf

Don't give up!

[TristeDominicana]

Thank you ExhaustedMom. I tried to find the app, apparently it is not available for my phone. However, I did follow the link and will give that a try.

[TristeDominicana]

[QUOTE=Yzen;5076706]Depression paints a dreary picture and tries to darken every corner of the picture, but the picture isn't real. We all have good and bad that happen in our days. These are moments that happen--they don't define you.. You are not worthless. Not at all. You are courageous. You are doing what you can to try to fix things and keep things going.

Yes, these are moments that happen. Unfortunately, they seem to happen all the time. I can't seem to get away from them. I try to be positive, but it always turns out to be the same for me.