[LaDauphine]

This post really only applies to people who play a sport or activity competitively. The "recreational" mentality is just too different and so are the tactics, pressure, lifestyle, etc.

Anyway, I live in a soccer oriented city and play on a competitive soccer team. I'm 29 which is old (straight up) to be playing at this type of level. There are a few on my team a couple year's younger, but most are about 16-23.

I play striker which is designated for higher skilled players. It's a goal scoring position. I don't know if it's time to hang up my boots or what, but I feel inadequate on this team and it's not even my skill level - it's my mentality.

Young players are always more fearless and selfish whereas seasoned players tend to be cautioned and unselfish. The 2 other strikers I play with are 21ish and have about 12 goals between them. I have 2. Pathetic! What's making me feel so depressed is that I create a lot of their goals and they don't do the same for me. It's getting a little better in that they are sending/crossing me the ball, but I know that's because I spent the last 3 games setting them up. It's like I had to put in the work to show them I'm worthy of receiving a pass.

I never thought being a team player would be such a bad thing, but I "gave" away at least 4 goals last night. What I mean is that if I had of been a touch more selfish those goals would have been mine. Instead, I chose the safe option and passed it off to one of them last second.

Before you say not being selfish is good, I don't want to hear it. Sometimes, selfishness is what it takes to become better, especially at a competitive level. These girls are selfish and as a team we could have had way more goals if they weren't as such, but no body cares. Why? Because they don't care if they care and we win as a result of their goals.

I don't know what the point of this post is. I just feel so haggard. Like I'm too old to be playing with the young ones anymore and it's killing me. I know the reason I pass them the ball rather than take it myself is because I don't feel good enough and that worries me. People who are selfish in small ways tend to be more confident and all I want to do is be like them!

To make it even worse my last goal went under the wrong jersey. I'm pissed. There were a lot of bodies and I had a feeling I'd get confused with another player so all I had to do was speak UP!

[Fizzyo]