[MtnTime2896]

I look at my reflection and I don't see much. I see what potential used to reside but now has dissipated into nothing. I see progress thrown away and put in the backseat. All I see is damage. This broken individual that can't seem to move on. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself," is what I'm told. The thing is, I don't. I don't feel sorry for me because I truly believe that I've had this all coming. I write my own story and messed up somewhere along the way. It is my fault. I'm not this person that is suppose to do something with themselves and become great in some way. I'm just a broken shell who's going through the motions because that's all I can do. All I can do is fight to stick around to ensure that the people I love are taken care of and always know I'll be there. I asked not too long ago what keeps people from taking that final step. This is mine. Beaten and broken, this is who I am and why I believe I'm here. To protect and help anyone and everyone who I care about and lone strangers that just need some help.
I'm broken and damaged. My mission is to try and save others from this hell and I'm losing, but I'm stubborn. It's the only sense of purpose I feel anymore.

Perhaps whenever you help someone else, a small piece of you will also get repaired.

I don't think you are losing. You already have made the decision to do something and that's not a backwards step, surely?

[cinnamonstick]

I think it is truly amazing that you care about those you love. That is really inspiring. I know it probably doesn't seen that way, but so many people are truly stuck in their own heads. I really like what Sophiesmom said. I often feel so much better when I reach out to someone here and am rewarded with a thank you. You are loved.

[Fizzyo]

Só leigheas,

I feel so much pain expressed in your post, but great courage too!

I'm sooo sorry you have to struggle so much but it's people like you that this world needs more of. People who consider what other people need as well as themselves and who want to build people up.

I pray for peace for you, at least in some measure that you can feel and the knowledge in your heart (not just your head) that all that trouble is worth it for your loved ones.