Depression and Relationships

you are probably right....my friends and family don't want to talk about it...it is scary....I try to find other persons that have a mental illness to relate with...

I think this is tough because the isolation starts to feel "normal" with the idea that you are saving others from your emotional drama etc.

I have two thoughts. The first is that recognizing there is a problem to be solved is half the battle. You are doing that here with this thread, and I applaud you for that! You are reaching out within the context of a safe place. Good work on this! The second thought is carefully but slowly widen your circle of loving, supportive people.

I too am trying to move out of a place of isolation. What happened while I was feeling extremely depressed was that I attracted the wrong people. Instead of supporting me and helping me to feel stronger, they were more like vampires sucking out any strength I had. So I think it is VERY important to be careful about new friends and relationships.

Meanwhile, keep working on yourself. I am now at the place where I don't want to be isolated, and I think you are, too. What I am doing is observing in my daily life who makes me feel good and who makes me feel not so good. Some people do have a stigma about MI. Well, I think a lot of people have a stigma about MI.

You want to keep a circle of supportive, open-minded, loving people around you. Slowly you can widen your circle. Don't rush it. Most of all...practice being kind to yourself. You will be fine. I am certain in time your loving circle will grow wider and wider. Good Luck.

We talk on Facebook, and now he's not opening my message, even though I see him being active. I'm not sure what he's expecting it might say, after his last one to me was pretty harsh, or maybe it's just that he doesn't care what I have to say.

Thank you so much for your inspiring post and for the advice. I will try, although I am aware it's gonna take time and effort.

I agree. And disclosure often has a negative impact on how people perceive you and interact with you. I have found that it is better just to pretend and smile at people. An additional downside to that (for me) is that my internal world and self are completely divorced from the outside and other people. I expend a lot of energy (that I no longer really have) on maintaining the "self" that I show others. Trying to bridge the gap only seems to make things worse, and eliminates any shelter or safer place, however tenuous. What people know, they will use against you, so it is better to keep them guessing. At the very least, they have no empathy or understanding, as you say.

I like what Chasing2 & KamikazeBaby said the most. Unfortunately, you take a HUGE risk when you open up to anyone about mental health issues, even if they happen to be good friends and family. I've made the mistake of thinking that my family would maybe try to be supportive of me although they have rarely been supportive of me before, and they ended up telling me that it's "all in my head" and that the way that I think is "negative", and that if I just smile and think positive, and socialize more, that I'd be OK again.

They have then told me that I'm crazy for not snapping out of my depression after awhile. A lot of people are like that unfortunately. They don't get it. People are often afraid of what they don't understand. It doesn't help that mentally ill people are always portrayed in a negative light in movies and the media.

Everytime there is a mass shooting for example, they always claim that person was a loner, weird, and mentally ill for example. I know that isn't the best example, but even if it is true, it just makes other people think that mentally ill people are all prone to violence or something like that.

A lot of people just don't know how to deal with a mentally ill person, so they don't. They just don't want to have to adjust their behaviour to accommodate people who aren't like them. One former friend told me that she felt like she felt like she always had to walk on "eggshells" around me because of the way I am. That's ridiculous as I was never THAT sensitive. And I never asked her to treat me any differently either.

Another friend who was my former best friend became a lot more distant towards me after I made the mistake of telling her about my social anxiety, my panic attacks, and my depression after a few years. I expected support and sympathy from her, not the cold shoulder. Ugh. I'll NEVER make the mistake of revealing my issues to anyone outside of here again as a lot of people do judge.

Even people who have similar issues do judge too. If you're worse off than they are, they won't get why you can't just get over being so depressed when they clearly can. Or they at least expect you to control your emotions like they do. It's not fair, but it is what it is. Not everyone can control how they feel all the time.

It's best to NOT tell ANYONE aside from a Dr or therapist about mental health issues. Like I said, a lot of people DO judge. It's funny to how people with physical handicaps are looked upon with sympathy, but once someone finds out that you have a mental illness, all of a sudden, you're labeled as a "crazy" person who needs to be avoided and shunned. At least that's how most people do react, and it's sad. We need support and understanding, not judgement, ridicule, and to be even more isolated and shunned than ever.

well i guess i should begin with the fact that my depression is self diagnosed because my family refuses to get me help but instead verbally abuses me.. I am also left with a physical disability known as Spastic Cerebral Palsy which simpily means my brain send the wrong messages to my body making me physically unstable, i fall a lot and have had 5 different surgeries 4 on each leg one my back.. I am bullied because of my state and school has lead me to fits of anxiety as well as my depression..

In expirience I definetly know depression pushes friends away, ruins relationships and aggrivates your family.. I had this boyfriend about a year ago a complete jerk but hey love is blind.. When i was falling into depression he started avoiding me and my ex friend now his girlfriend slowly took him from me..

Another expirience i had more recently was with an old really close friend: my great grandfather had died and it was the one on my moms side (they hate us) so we didnt go to his funeral she had bailed school on me due to "anxiety" she was planning to have the night before.. I told her to leave me alone i was really out of it crying uncontrolably and instead of asking if i was ok she asked what she had done to deserve such harsh treatment..

My depression my anxiety my disability has made my life hell but in the end you'd think im better off huh?