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#1
Aug 07, 2016, 11:52 PM
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So last year I put my wife through hell and frustrated people by ending up in the hospital 4 times. Lately I have been realizing just how bad I must have made people feel because I have been on the other side of it trying to help a friend. I just feel that I will never be able to make things up to my wife. I have apologized to her and my T but they both say there is no need to. I have been doing well for about 4 months but these ruminating thoughts are returning. I don't feel like I am slipping into that dark hole again but the suicidal thoughts have returned. I just don't know what is wrong. I can't put my finger on it. My T thinks it is situational this time and that I need to get some things sorted out. She said whenever I get low I don't want to be a part of my family anymore. I have been feeling disconnected from my wife and kids lately. We are on vacation right now with my parents and sister's family but while they spend time at the beach I just stay in the house. I just feel like I want to disappear.
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 ABeautifulLie, kkrrhh, Marla500, Sula B, Yours_Truly
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#2
Aug 08, 2016, 04:07 AM
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When suicidal thoughts surface, it's natural to isolate. It's the same as being told you have a few years to live. You don't want anyone to care. It makes it easier to let go if no one's around. You got to fight that with everything you have, with every fiber of your being. Fight like you never have before. You'll get tired and want to give up but you'll find it might ease over time. You can't blame yourself for your depression and suicidal ideation. Could you blame a heart attack victim for having to go to the hospital and need surgery/medication? Make it up to your wife in the ways that will mean more to her. Take her on a date, spend as much time with your kids as you can (even if you can't be 100% there mentally). Take it from a woman, we hold actions higher than words. That being said, every time you feel like saying 'sorry' to her, tell her you love her instead. It positively shows that you appreciate her instead of just feeling guilty, which will make her feel guilty for you feeling guilty.
This is my experience from the opposite side of the spectrum, anyway. Good luck, sir. Hang in there. |
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#3
Aug 08, 2016, 08:31 AM
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__________________
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#4
Aug 09, 2016, 02:20 PM
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Having strong urges to do something bad.
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#5
Aug 09, 2016, 02:49 PM
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Call your crisis line or go to ER, reach out for the help you need...it's OK to do so, I've had to introduce the past and I was glad I did it
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__________________
Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
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#6
Aug 09, 2016, 02:50 PM
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HUGS
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__________________
Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
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#7
Aug 09, 2016, 04:25 PM
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I had already emailed my T today but I didn't tell her how bad my urges were.
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#8
Aug 09, 2016, 05:23 PM
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Quote:
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#9
Aug 09, 2016, 09:07 PM
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T wants my wife to hold onto my pills.
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#10
Aug 10, 2016, 01:41 AM
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Quote:
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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