[deeanj1]

I just feel so trapped. Around this time last year I had an OD, but for the most part I've been doing wonderful without meds. I've had jobs, a social life, etc.
It just seems like my mental health has been getting the best of me lately, to the point where I've been considering inpatient. I have bad headaches
all the time, and my mood swings have been terrible.

I've had a few mental breakdowns just this week, and I'm scared that I'll have one so severe that there's no telling what I'd do. I wouldn't be
a danger to myself, but it literally feels like a million things are racing through my mind and I can't get it to stop (if that even makes sense)
I don't have an outlet, so all of it bottles up and explodes.

I've tried almost everything to try to channel it elsewhere or de-escalate the situation, but it ends up just clogging my mind up more.
I know there's no shame and nothing wrong with asking for help but if I do end up going inpatient, I'm just gonna feel like everything I've been working on for the past year will have been for nothing.

So far it just feels like I took a step forward and I'd be going 5 steps backwards. Like I'd be in the same position as I was last year.
I'm 20, but I know my mom wouldn't be keen on the idea of inpatient. She'd try to dissuade me out of it or make me feel bad for wanting to go because I've been doing so well for the majority of the year.

For the most part I think I just need to get away from my environment and get stabilized. I feel safe at home, it just gets to be too much sometimes.
Anyone else been in a situation like this? I just don't know what to do anymore.

[CognitoSchiz1989]

"but it literally feels like a million things are racing through my mind and I can't get it to stop"
^Yes, that makes so so much sense. So if it helps you are not alone in that fact.

Maybe you need to go see your Psychologist or perhaps your Psychiatrist again.

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. If you feel you need inpatient then do it. I know your mom won't agree but it's for your life. You need to do what you feel is right.

Sorry if this response isn't of much help.

Sending gentle hugs your way.

[Skeezyks]

Hello deeanj1: I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[Fuzzybear]