[Robyn222]

[b]For several years I have had a money struggle. It even led to bankruptcy. I went through horrible anxieties and feared numerous times that I would lose my house. I cried and cried out of terror and horrible grief over this. Money just seems to elude me. I have a profession but there are not many positions available now so I am stuck in a low wage position. I refinanced my house to get rid of the bankruptcy and my mortgage went from 90k to 150k with some cash out and paying off the bankruptcy. I knew I I would refinance in 2 years when my credit rating would be better. Well, now it is one year and the mortgage company I have is after me to pay THIS YEARS property taxes of $2600! I hate property taxes and think they are basically illegal--but in any event these johnny on the spots have scared me to death--now I am having to refinance early. I am so scared. My credit rating is good now and I have spoken to someof refi people and a couple just backed out. One seems pretty cool but my mortgage will go up to 180 something as I need to pay property taxes etc. and I need some money to get my teeth fixed etc. My monthly payments will be around $1300. With my first mortgage, less than a year ago, the top I could ever pay was $900.

I feel so broken hearted. So caught in lack and need. Feeling my back is against the wall and that my little house that is my sanctuary and that I love so dearly (it is all I have) is at rist at such a high mortgage payment. I have prayed and prayed. I have totally believed that this hell of money lack would end. But it never does. It never ends. My little house and I weep together today as the onslaught against us continues.

My house is all I have left of the money my mother left me. It is also where my most beloved in all the world, my dog Beau, lived with me for 10 years before he died. I am in such sorrow and fear. I feel so alone and so abandoned by the good in the world.

Only a few short years ago I would say a prayer and an answer would come. Now I way a prayer and years go by with a deafening silence.

This is what hell sounds like.

I feel so desperate---so frantic. There are no answers--only terrible decisions. Why can't I make any money!!???

[gostryter]

(((((((((((((robyn222))))))))))))))

i understand completely wanting to hold on so desperately to your home! i'm about to lose my job and don't know how i will continue to pay for mine!

don't really have an answer - just wanted to let you know i understand your fear and pain

[Robyn222]

thank you for your reply. I will be praying for the both of us.

robyn

[wickedwings]

((((robyn)))) i know exactly how you feel. i had to go through bankruptcy years ago before i got married. i know it's hard. even now, my hubby and i are going through a financial mess a result of my medical bills. it's tricky, but we're getting through it ok. we just have to be careful and scrimp quite a bit. i don't know if this is comforting or not, but please know that i understand.....