[guiltier65]

where to start.... I lost it at work the other day, through my purse as I walked back in to the clinic after lunch. just feel so lost and alone, but i mainly want to be left alone because it is too much effort to deal with people. I am exhausted most of the time.
I am just wiped out. still cutting occassionally just to relieve the anxiety/ pain.... it doesn't help for long.
I really wonder if i just need to give up and go on disability. Maybe i'm really not as strong as everyone thinks i am. i make it to work, but i am sometimes short tempered, and hyper emotional.
I support my child with my whole heart and will always love them, but i have so many fears for their safety and future. i wonder if my family/marriage will survive this journey. I am already shutting my husband out. i don't trust him with my feelings. i know that he worries too, but he can shove the grief/pain back for awhile and not get lost in it like i do.
sorry for the whining, there is no one else i can share this with. i am alone in this struggle.

[Unrigged64072835]

You're not alone. You have all of us here who have gone through similar experiences. It's a rough patch right now. I get it.

[dexter]

Hello guiltier, people think you are strong for a reason. You are as strong as you think you are and as strong as I hope you know, deep down, if you are even if depression has you sometimes questioning it.

Being strong means being able to survive this difficult struggle. It does NOT mean never having moments of weakness or moments of need. We all need help and sometime asking for help is our greatest strength. The moments of short tempered-ness are difficult for other people to understand. We try to keep them under control because they hurt us as well as hurting others. But they happen. The good people around us will forgive us. The selfish will not. Don't beat yourself up for having a moment of lost control as a result of struggling so successfully with this illness. Sometimes it simply takes a toll.