I'm not sure what's wrong with me?

Hello, I hope this site can provide a little insight or direction. I know this is not a diagnostic site, but I really don't know what's going on with me. I would first like to note that I am on a birth control called Nexplanon for medical reasons, and that may contribute but other than that I take no medications or anything. I did have surgery a month ago and they told me not to work for a month so I sat around and didn't do much while healing.

The thing is I don't feel sad or anything. I'm actually happy to have a job now where I can work from home but the problem is my relationship. I love my boyfriend, but I won't let him touch or kiss me and I get really irritable when he does. But I still want him around and still love him. There are no thoughts of break up or anyone else, I just don't wanna be touched. And this has lasted for an extended period of time, like at least two weeks.

I have always had moods that switch from being happy and okay to wanting to be by myself. And before bipolar is thrown at me, that's not what I think it is but I don't know. I've never been diagnosed with a disorder. I don't want to spend tons of money or have sex and I don't have racing thoughts. My problem just lies with why my irritable moods are so messed up and are lasting so long to the point where I don't want my own boyfriend of two years to even touch me but I still want him in the room and would be devastated if I lost him. I thought maybe it was because we see each other too much and I just need space but can anyone offer suggestions or relate?? I'm sorry if that doesn't make much sense

Hmm. Maybe try to figure out what you're feeling when he tries to touch you that makes you not like it. Does it make you feel anxious, do you feel anger toward him, etc. Is it because of something you're feeling about him, or how you're feeling about yourself, without realizing it? Could the surgery and time spent healing have gotten you kinda down and not feeling great yourself, so you want to push him away?

I think to a certain extent it can be normal to just want that type of distance every once in a while, but then if you're bringing it up I'm guessing it's a problem. It could also be the birth control, they can really mess with ya sometimes. You say your moods have switched before, did it start any time since you started the birth control or was it going on before that?

Hope everything works out

Hello Kr11: I don't have anything to offer with regard to your concern. However I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

I'm wondering if the downtime is the reason, and yeah, I was on Depo for a while and that made me constantly moody/hungry and I gained some weight from it. I'm already feeling like I'm gaining weight from this one and I think that contributes. He and I talked about it and he thinks its the same thing - downtime + birth control + self esteem. I just wasn't sure Thanks for responding~

have you had these types of emotions in the past?

how do you feel about yourself?
there are a few things.. and of course im not suggesting you have any thing, its just some things i have read about...

depression can make you like this... anxiety... quite a few things actually it just depends on how you're experiencing things...
bipolar you have ups and downs, you can get really irritable and then be ok in a couple days or so, but its usually a mood set and not just a mood towards 1 thing i think... you can also get really energetic and then crash into depression.. but its a cycle thing and usually it takes some days atleast to go through the cycle but there is rapid cycling and ultradian cycling, but usually you feel the same about everything and not just 1 thing if that makes sense..? i think, i cant say for sure how it works though...

there is another thing called borderline personality disorder that can maybe seem a little bipolarish... you might could read a little about that since i dont really like trying to explain personality disorders...
(i have been told i have alot of borderline traits myself so please dont take offense) also have been told i have alot of avoidant personality traits as well...
my personality is all messed up though

also maybe Premenstrual dysphoric disorder? being a guy i dont wanna get into that too much...

i think PTSD can have some things involved with things like this too... certain triggers and whatnot but that like pretty much usually needs a traumatic type event to happen to develop...

i probably could go on and on, there are lots of things that could be happening really...
medication reaction is definitely possible...

have you seen a doctor about it?
i think that would be your best bet probably, a trained licensed professional that knows about these kind of things

i wish i could be of more help but i really dont like to speculate too much on peoples experiences since it can be complicated and i dont want to make it worse for them

I think something its wrong with your intimacy maybe you need some space or time .Try to speak to your boyfriend and explain him the situation ,tell him that you love him but something inside you dont let you to let be touched because if you dont say him nothing will thing hat you dot love him and will leave and then will understand the situation and it will give you time