[jrae]

gots way too much on my mind today, thinking about what happened one year ago on this date...

it was one year ago today that I was in a car crash. one-third of my car was smashed in, they had to use the jaws to pry my door open just to get me out, and then I was transported by ambulance to the hospital. that night, I spent four hours in the ER!

I had lots of injuries (if you want to know, just ask - otherwise I shouldn't post graphic info on here). and one year later, I still have problems from those injuries, like damage done to my spine and head! I also found out last week that I've become a person with chronic pain, something else I will have to deal with the rest of my life!

I know the past is the past and ya can't change it, but dam. when is enough crap enough crap?! I was already struggling so much from my MI and then all that gets thrown on top?! I use to say (only to 'trusted people') that I was the one who got the MI cuz I was strong enough to handle it / deal with it. and my one doctor was awesome enough to see that! but the more s*** that keeps happening to me to make things even worse, the more I doubt that thinking!

I mean, most people have a hard time getting back up when they get 'knocked down'. and people with an MI, some never get back up. so when there is an MI and other trauma/crap, how the h*** is someone suppose to get back up from a knockdown like that?! how do they ever get back to where they once were, or even back to their feet again? or is that even possible, when every dam card in the deck is stacked against them?!?!

[MtnTime2896]

We can never be who we used to be. Hey, maybe that's a good thing that we just haven't realized, yet.
But I have a feeling, even if (metaphorically) it's with a peg leg, you'll stand up again. Life's not done throwing this round of punches, yet. That's okay. Let it finish. You're strong and you got this. It's also okay to have others help you back up, don't forget that.

[Fizzyo]

Long term pain and disability is so hard to deal with.
You clearly are a strong person but sometimes we have to "rest" before we try to get up again.
I'm not going to suggest or promise anything about the future.
I'm so sad at how much you're suffering and send mega hugs *HUGS*
I hope your quality of life finds a way to improve, and soon.
Until then...