[jman197]

im just not good enough. i never really have been. i was always the person people put up with because they had no choice. now im just not good enough for people to understand. people just pity me because of my life. why should they care, all i do is hurt and destroy. destroy everything around me and then wonder why i have no real friends. wonder why peoole only care when everything is going wrong. i know why, its because i am not, and will never be good enough.

[MtnTime2896]

I know that feeling all too well. I'm sorry you're experiencing this.
One thing I struggle with is deciphering whether or not it's my depression talking and if it's actually real. I believe in certain cases, I break everything I touch, but my mind also has the ability to magnify what I did and over think what happened; the only thing that comes out of that is self-loathing; and hell, if I don't loath myself.
Other times, depression simply makes a me feel useless and a "drag" to be around. I have "friends" who have said that to me and told me to hang out when I wasn't such a bum to be around.
Truth is, who cares what other people think? Everyone around you can leave any time they wish, and it sounds like you've already experienced that. The only person in this entire realm of existence that is stuck with you, is you. You need to do what makes you happy. You need to be 'good enough' for yourself. Screw anyone else's opinion about how you should be and the standards you should be meeting. Your opinion is the only one that matters.
By doing that, others will see it and may actually be inspired by it.

[Skeezyks]

Hello jman197: The Skeezyks sends his best wishes with the hope that, in some way, you will be able to find deep peace within...