[PsychNitrous]

I feel like I'm drowning in everyday life anymore. There's nothing excessively stressful or crazy going on, but I just can't keep up. Nothing seems to be working, and it feels like no one is seeing or hearing me.

I mentioned in the daily check-in thread about my T and pdoc not hearing me about my depression. I have a history of premenstrual depression, it's been going on for ages. I tracked it for years to make sure I wasn't just seeing things as worse in my head. There is a pattern, it's so easy to see anymore. But I haven't met with my current T or pdoc during the week when my depression is worse each month. So they haven't seen it. I've talked about it though, and I feel like they've been ignoring or brushing it off as typical PMS. I tried to talk to T about it yesterday because I felt it starting, but she just said something vague about women getting emotional when it's time for their period, and we moved on. I didn't even register how she brushed me off until hours later.

I've been trying for the last couple of months also to lose weight, and I just feel hopeless there now. I lost 5lbs right away, and then nothing. The other day I weighed myself again and was down another 4lbs, but they were back again the next morning. I just feel like it's completely useless to try now, I haven't seen any progress. Getting up to work out in the morning isn't even helping my mood. It just feels like a chore that has no purpose. Everyone keeps saying that I should focus on being healthy and being happy with who I am now, but that's not enough for me. I've been fat my whole life and I'm sick of it. But when I really want it and really try, I get nowhere.

All I want to do today is sit and cry. Everything feels painful and I just don't know where to go or who to talk to. I don't know if I can get in to see T again before our next appointment in 2 weeks. I feel like I'm alone and I don't want to be. I don't like to post new threads here often because I don't like to feel like a burden, but I need something. Someone. I need help.

[gayleggg]

Oh my, you poor thing, not to be heard even when you tell people is terrible. Shame on your therapist for not listening.

Keep on asserting yourself until they listen. You have a valid concern and issue. If your tx team doesn't listen maybe it's time for a new team.

[PsychNitrous]

Originally Posted by gayleggg

Oh my, you poor thing, not to be heard even when you tell people is terrible. Shame on your therapist for not listening.

Keep on asserting yourself until they listen. You have a valid concern and issue. If your tx team doesn't listen maybe it's time for a new team.

Thank you. I'm going to try to be much more assertive about it at my next appointment, hopefully I can make them understand.

[Yours_Truly]

Hey PsychNitrous, I hear you. Don't worry about being a burden. That's what this place is for.

I'm sorry your T and pdoc aren't hearing you. Once again don't hesitate coming here though because someone here is sure to understand.

[PsychNitrous]

Originally Posted by Yours_Truly

Hey PsychNitrous, I hear you. Don't worry about being a burden. That's what this place is for.

I'm sorry your T and pdoc aren't hearing you. Once again don't hesitate coming here though because someone here is sure to understand.

Thanks. I guess I must have a history of feeling unheard, because I always assume people don't want to hear me. But I will keep posting.

[avlady]

i used to PMS really bad and i was afraid to tell my mom so i just lived with it until i had a breakdown from it. Got thermal ablation operation and now i don't get a period-Thank God!!I would be a mess!!!For some reason PMS gets swept under the rug, but i myself believe it is the cause of several psychological problems.Good luck

[PsychNitrous]

I'm afraid that some of my problems this week might be from T. She started a conversation Monday about my having been sexually assaulted, something I've mentioned but not talked to her about. I'm worried that somehow only talking about it some and nor really working on the trauma hurt me this week.