My head has been all over the place the last couple of weeks. One minute I'm planning my end, the next considering going back to work and somehow riding out this storm.

I'm not sure how it can change so dramatically, so suddenly. How something so intense and unbearable can somehow become more manageable. Or how I can go from having hope, to being in the bottom of a pit unable to see any kind of light. But change it does...

I guess now is one of those hopeful moments. I have been off sick for a month now, and the truth is I had no intention of going back. No intention of being alive to be able to go back. But somehow found myself on the phone to my manager today arranging my return to work for Monday. So I guess this is me trying again. I just hope it's not a mistake.

Am I ready to go back? Will I be ok? Probably not... But I'm also achieving nothing by sitting around my house all day binging on various netflix shows.

I just have to make more of an effort to make this life thing work I guess..

[MtnTime2896]

I'm glad you rode out your extreme depressive time. You're a pretty tough cookie. I hope that work will help you out, or at least keep you busy enough to distract your mind. I'm proud of you.

I also probably should have added a thank you to everyone who has supported me here recently. It's made a big difference, would have been lost without you all

[Skeezyks]

Hi HalloweenSkye: I'm glad to read you are doing a bit better. This is to be celebrated! I send hugs with the hope that your improvement might continue & grow. Is there a possibility of returning to work beginning with just a few hours per week? (I don't know what you do, of course, or how many hours you would typically work.) It might be better if you start back at a reduced pace & build up gradually.

I plan on taking it slow, especially as I work in retail and it's now the busiest time of the year I have a 5 hour shift on Monday and then will take it from there