[BrownHat22]

Hello everyone,

I mentioned a bit of this in a different thread, but after some thought, I want to get other people's opinions on it. Specially, for those on the forum that self-depreciate, if there is a difference between what you feel in a situation and the facts that you know in a situation. In other words, whether or not you are able to tell that even though you feel really disappointed in yourself, or hung up on a particular mistake, you knew that you shouldn't be feeling this way. For instance, for a couple of days now I felt depressed, and like I am a burden on those around me, but a part of me also knows that this is not actually the case, partially due to some of the reasons that I felt like a burden in the first place. Does anyone have this as well? And if so, what have you done to reassure yourself that you aren't as bad as you make yourself out to be?

[dexter]

I know what you mean and for me knowing how the truth differs from what is in my mind only serves to frustrate and depress me more.

Describing this to my clinician, she said "Insight is the booby prize for mental illness". That's become sort of a mantra for me.

To fight it sometimes I find specific positive affirmations repeated to myself when those feelings come up in situations. For example if I know that at work I feel insecure and defensive I will, before entering the building and periodically during the day, say to myself "I am powerful, I am good at my job, I am appreciated" or something like that.

[BrownHat22]

Thank you, I'll start using those affirmations as well.

[leejosepho]

Originally Posted by BrownHat22

...if there is a difference between what you feel in a situation and the facts that you know in a situation...whether or not you are able to tell that even though you feel really disappointed in yourself, or hung up on a particular mistake, you knew that you shouldn't be feeling this way.

I often discover conflicts between conclusions drawn from emotions (and sometimes even further confused by ego, fear, ignorance and/or pride) and conclusions drawn from facts, such as when judging myself either positively or negatively in spite of the fact I am not my own judge and actually have no say in the matter.

Originally Posted by BrownHat22

For instance, for a couple of days now I felt depressed, and like I am a burden on those around me, but a part of me also knows that this is not actually the case...

I do not know what you mean by "partially due to some of the reasons that I felt like a burden in the first place", but there are times when I am a burden without realizing it as well as times when I am not a burden but I still think I am...and at least in my own case, that all breaks down either to some kind of erroneous self-judgement or else simply not knowing the actual willingness and abilities of others around me. As an example while looking from the other direction: Someone once told me he did not want to be any kind of burden for me, and I replied by saying he need not be concerned since I only do what I willingly can and then nothing ever more or less.

Originally Posted by BrownHat22

...what have you done to reassure yourself that you aren't as bad as you make yourself out to be?

Ceasing from self-judgement while letting others decide.