[prin969]

I have always wanted to be married and be a mom, but this past year my depression and anxiety has gotten much worse. I am about to get married to a great man, but when my anxiety or depression is bad I feel like I don't want him in my life or other people close either. I can convince myself that it would be fine to have him around (because he's an adult and strong and my struggles don't seem to phase him), but CHILDREN, I can't just break down or not get out of bed or have a panic attack as a mother.

[TishaBuv]

I functioned in raising three boys under severe stress and depression in a bad marriage that is still going on.

I never once screwed up in attending to the kids' needs.

Maternal instincts are powerful.

[Fuzzybear]

I agree, maternal instincts are powerful .....
As you are questioning yourself (showing self awareness) I think you will be a good mother

I disagree, somewhat.
I hope I am wrong.

Having recently (about 5 years) having developed depression, I have a gauge. My children are adults now.

I could not have had kids if I was like this then. I couldn't have done this to another living being.

[healingme4me]

I don't know, I think there's too much pressure in society or as it would seem via the internet in society to be perfect and not show a shred of illness nor weakness to children.
I agree about maternal instincts. A strong and complementary partner is a bonus.
It is good to stop and ask yourself, ahead of time. That's a positive of you.

Yet, I hear what sophiesmom is saying, too. It's that challenging, motherhood, that is.

[prin969]

For those of you who have gone through motherhood with depression how do you do it?

[Jadenmia1]

I have struggled with anxiety and depression for a long time. Im now a mother of 3 and in a (not so happy) marriage.
My children are my reason to go on everyday and keep fighting it. My children make me happier than anything else in this world!

There are some days i feel extra sad.. and we just have pyjama days with movies and eat good food. Funnily enough, my oldest daughter whos 8, tells me these are her favourite days
Im actually on anti depressants now after falling into major postpartum depression. It has helped so much and i feel so much happier. Not as stressed etc..
My kids keep my mind busy and i dont have much time to sit around and feel bad or think too much so thats a plus.

Dont worry

[TishaBuv]

You just have to try your best to give them a normal, healthy life. You put them first.

My kids had no idea what was really going on until fairly recently, now that they are adult, teens.

I'm not hiding it anymore. Lots of important discussion needs to be had about making improvements and getting healthier.

You need to set a good example for your children the best you can to teach them to be good, happy, productive people.

[hexacoda]

It was really hard, especially the first several months. People don't tell you how hard it is to have a newborn. You basically give yourself up for this tiny person. I was lucky he slept through the night from birth but it was still so hard. Eventually I got put on meds and that made a big difference. I didn't feel hopeless anymore and that empowered me to be a better parent, which helped me be more hopeful, and that spiralled up. I also had a great support system with my parents and in laws and husband, and read a few books, and I still work on trying to be a mindful parent.

[PenguinExMachina]

It's hard. Probably the hardest thing I've ever done. Motherhood is stressful because of the pressure society places on us for perfection. There are countless "wars" going on in mommydom that aren't good for the anxiety.
But on the positive side, I function, because of my child. I sought help, because of my child. I think that without my child in my life, I'd be on a very different path. And not a good one. It takes everything I have to do this, and I often slip up. But I think it's also important for him to know that I'm human too, and I'm not perfect. Someday he will understand.