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#1
Dec 18, 2016, 03:19 AM
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These last few days I couldn’t sleep and I don’t know why. The mix of depression + anxiety is the worst thing I could ever face during my whole life and I know this is the result of a problem that I’m tired of battling against it: my father. He turned my life into a hell (he did the same with my sister’s and my mother’s too). Since the day I was born he tried everything to make me feel bad about myself and he did awful things to those I love, especially my mom and sister. This led me to be a failure… I have dreams and I don’t feel like accomplishing them. Even though I have accomplished some of them, this problem affects these dreams - directly or not directly. Right now I am at a point of my life I feel hopeless and I can’t stop thinking about problems. I’m always worried. I don’t see worth in living anymore. I’m trying my best to get thought it, but it gets worse throughout the days.
Right now I got something I wished in the past few months: I’m alone at home with my boyfriend and I’m able to get a good time for ourselves, especially myself, but things are not working in the way I expected to work inside me. I don’t know if I can face my problems anymore. I wish I weren’t born. I wish could sleep forever. I wish I could stop bad things for a moment because I’m tired of fighting against them. Crying has never been so easy for me as it is now. Dad, I hate you. You don't deserve the gift the nature gave you... You were able to give life to 4-5 (I'm not sure of how many children he has) children but you weren't able to take care of them. You make me feel like crap every single day of life. |
 Fuzzybear
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#2
Dec 18, 2016, 11:20 AM
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I don't have a lot I can say, but I couldn't leave without saying something. I can totally relate. Please, reach out for professional help, if you haven't. I haven't made a lot of progress yet, but it gives me some hope to live to know that I'm working on it, and sometimes, I may be able to feel normal.
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#3
Dec 18, 2016, 11:26 AM
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 and welcome to psych central. I'm sorry your hurting. Sounds like you've has a hard life. If you are not getting help it would be a good idea to do that. It's not weak to need help, it's strength.
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 Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg 
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#4
Dec 18, 2016, 02:49 PM
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__________________
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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