Painful decision

After almost 7 years of my daughters being absent. I've come to decide that I won't be trying to contact them anymore. It hurts too much to not hear from them, to wonder if they got what I sent them and not even a "thanks dad." I love them more than anything in existence, but I am letting myself fall deeper because all I think of is them.

Some people would probably call me a bad father. Everyone I've loved has been ripped away. I hope they come back someday but I can't spare any more of myself being destroyed. I'm so tired from giving so much love, never having it come back so I can refill. I'm running on empty and don't know what else to do.

I'd give anything to be loved for me and not used by a woman. I'd give my life just to be able to hug my daughters again and tell them I love them, even if it was only one more time.

I am glad there are people who have their loved ones gor the holidays and other days. I am also saddened because I don't have it and why I can't have it. I get told I'm a nice guy, but that's it. I find the saying, "nice guys finish last", more true each and every day. I continue to wonder what is so wrong with me. Am I doomed to be alone because I'm nice? What's the point of being nice if it only gets you used, hurt, and abandoned, even by your own kids.

I am sorry that you feel this way. I am not familiar with your story so please excuse me if I ask a stupid question. Are your kids adults? If not is the mother keeping them from you? Unfortunately sometimes the best things hurt the most. I really do hope you are able to speak to them soon. (((Hugs)))

Thank you Queen. My oldest is 20, my youngest is 17. Their mother does not know how to say nice things. She had custody being Michigan literally hates dads. It's a long ugly story.

I don't know you personally, but believe me when I say that you sound nothing like a "bad father". You sound like a victim on the other side of heavy manipulation. Their "mother" is doing more of a disservice to your daughters than they may ever know. My father did this to me towards my mother and it took a long time for me to realize it. I just wish this wasn't happening to you. Unfortunately, closure isn't going to be an option for you for a long time, not until your daughters come around, and that fact right there -- not knowing whether or not you'll ever even get to see your daughters again -- is what makes it so damn awful. At least if you had a definite answer, it might ease the longing and then do something with that sliver of hope. If I'm completely off base here, let me know.
Attempting to contact them and having no response is it's own kind of torture. No longer attempting can bring a certain bittersweet ease to the pain. I can't advise you here but can simply tell you that I understand and I hope peace will come to you, along with closure from reuniting with you daughters.

You aren't off base SoLeigheas and thank you. I just can't handle being hurt anymore. I've been being hurt for close to 38 years now. It's too much, when nothing is there. I've always given 1000%. That might sound like an exaggeration, but I gave when I had nothing to give. I know some people who are the same way. Your "uncle" and I would very likely have seen eye to eye.

Your comments are always appreciated. Thank you.

Please do not give up on your daughters, and please do not demand anything from them. The details of your story and mine would be different, of course, but the circumstances are almost identical and today my daughters are comforted by the fact I had not turned away during times such as you have just described.

Thank you lee. I will always love them and be here for them. I received a rude call from their mother this morning. They are ripping up and throwing away letters, cards, and gifts I send them, without even looking at them.

I'm sorry.. you don't deserve any of this.

You might want to be cautious about how much you spend for things headed for the trash, but keeping them coming even now that your daughters likely know you know what happens to those things will likely make a big difference for your daughters in the days yet ahead. And just in case you might not already know: Never say anything at all about their mother or any of her doings, and do not ever try to sell yourself or gain sympathy. Just let them know you are thinking of them and wishing them the best in all they ever do.

I'll try and ty. Ty Mickey.