[lina33]

The first day since signing up that I've felt horrible. I feel like I need to write it all out or say it somewhere where I won't interrupt or upset anyone.
I don't know how to communicate with people about how or what I feel. I know it's often not caused by anything topical or relevant, but for hours of the day I can feel so low, I'll cry for no reason, like now. I'm crying.

I feel this empty lonely, sense of despair, and there is no reasoning behind it. I deteriorate in this sadness, like it's an indulgence, but I don't feel like I can pull out of it. I try to redirect, but I'm quickly drained of the will to fight the sadness, and I end up drowning in the "sulking" throughout the day. I hate this because I don't feel this is who I am, or who I should be.

I have feelings like..

I'm alone
I'm misunderstood
I'm undesirable
I'm miserable
I'm tortured

Etc, and it's not conscious words that run through, but feelings or emotional waves, that hit, and drain me of my will to fight against it. Almost as if that participating in this feeling makes me feel momentarily better? Doing so either consciously or unconsciously contributes to perpetuate the "sulking" which leads to seclusion and isolation.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm sorry you're feeling like this. If that can help, you're not alone.

Originally Posted by lina33

The first day since signing up that I've felt horrible. I feel like I need to write it all out or say it somewhere where I won't interrupt or upset anyone.
I don't know how to communicate with people about how or what I feel. I know it's often not caused by anything topical or relevant, but for hours of the day I can feel so low, I'll cry for no reason, like now. I'm crying.

I feel this empty lonely, sense of despair, and there is no reasoning behind it. I deteriorate in this sadness, like it's an indulgence, but I don't feel like I can pull out of it. I try to redirect, but I'm quickly drained of the will to fight the sadness, and I end up drowning in the "sulking" throughout the day. I hate this because I don't feel this is who I am, or who I should be.

I have feelings like..

I'm alone
I'm misunderstood
I'm undesirable
I'm miserable
I'm tortured

Etc, and it's not conscious words that run through, but feelings or emotional waves, that hit, and drain me of my will to fight against it. Almost as if that participating in this feeling makes me feel momentarily better? Doing so either consciously or unconsciously contributes to perpetuate the "sulking" which leads to seclusion and isolation.

(((((lina33)

lots of people here want to help and support you

keep posting here. all of us are listening and we care

[Shazerac]

Hi Lina, I'm sorry you're feeling so bad.

Is there a way to get help? Visit your doctor or a therapist or something? You are not alone.

[MtnTime2896]

"I feel this empty lonely, sense of despair, and there is no reasoning behind it."

Don't get too hung up on that because there is a reason. An illness is an illness. It's like asking a pancreas of a type 1 diabetic why it's being such a ****. It just is and you have to accept that and treat it.
I'm sorry you're feeling this way and don't have anyone you can really talk to about this in your daily life. All of us here seem to have that common thread. I know others here and I will be more than happy to hear you out and help as much as we're capable.

[LadyJay]

I'm so sorry. I know this time of year can spark all types of emotions in people. Please post here or message me if you ever need someone to talk to.
I've been feeling low as well. We're here to help you through.