[guiltier65]

I just went to lunch with a friend. That was a challenge, I am a major league isolationist. Give me a quiet house and a book or my knitting and I can be alone for hours.
Anyway, back to lunch... My friend was asking my feelings about all that is going on in my family and how we are all coping... It has been about 6 months since my youngest anounced that they are transgender and are in the process of becoming my daughter. They are doing HRT and seems to be going well for them. I'm thankful for that .... my husband and son are dealing with the situation by pretending that it doesn't exist... if we don't talk about it; it's not happening. I can't stop thinking... all of the what ifs are circling around in my mind and I am constantly anxious. or teary.... or both. Shouldn't I be doing better with this by now? Shouldn't I be able to hear the songs from their wedding or look at pictures without breaking down? When does this get better or easier? I have no answers, only more questions.
Sorry to whine guys... it's a grey, gloomy Monday and that doesn't make anything better.

[winter4me]

As a family, you are all going through a profound process. I hope that you are able to be there for your youngest as they move into becoming who they are, and that they know it is normal for you and other family members to mourn the loss of dreams, realistic or not that revolved about them. We all have dreams to lose as we grow. There are new, and better ones to come.
And, it sure sounds as though you could use a support group yourself to talk with other parents who are going through this, other family members, friends.... Sometimes people need to deny what is going on. This doesn't usually work well over time.

[Skeezyks]

Hello guiltier65: I would simply like to celebrate the fact that you are there for your youngest. There are so many trans individuals who lose everyone when they transition. Please be kind to yourself. It's your transition too. And the adjustment period just takes as long as it takes... however long that is...

I applaud you for your efforts to be supportive during her difficult transition. I recommend finding a support group. Even the possibility of attending one of her own therapy sessions with her would go a long way in your own path on this journey. Certainly, her supports like therapy, doctors, and groups could open the door to finding and establishing supports of your own.

[MommaD]

when my daughter told me she thought she was transgender I'm afraid I didnt handle it well. I felt like my daughter had died and someone else was in her place and I grieved the loss of the daughter I had known. Maybe this is part of processing such a profound change in your family? I don't know. She's still my child.
I do know that if I could do it over again I would hope to be as accepting and supportive as you are. the best thing you can do is exactly what you're doing--supporting your child through a time of change. But cut yourself some slack too. You are going through some profound changes too and change is hard. I do believe it will get easier as time goes on.

[Fuzzybear]