[Stronger]

Hi friends,

I am (supposed to be) a junior in college pursuing a degree in biochemistry. This fall though, I took the semester off to get eating disorder treatment. It was helpful, and I'm glad I did it, but it made me realize that my ED is just a cover for my depression and suicidality.

6 weeks ago I landed in the ICU after a major suicide attempt, and my t told me I needed to get residential treatment for suicidality. But that means taking another semester off! I'm willing, but reluctant.

Today I had to email the professor whose research lab I work in and tell her that I'm not doing well and I'm about to go get treatment...again. And I also got online to drop the classes I'm signed up for next semester, but a voice inside of me threw a hissy fit! Another semester, really?! I just wanna go back to school and normal college life, but I know bad things will happen if I do.

Going back to school would have been 10 times easier logistically and emotionally, but I have to realize that I'm still sick, and still need help.

It feels like I'm having to take another step back in order just to keep walking.
This is so hard :/

[MommaD]

Hi Stronger
I can see where you might feel like you're taking a step backwards but in truth, your health needs to be your top priority right now. Ignoring what you're feeling won't make it go away, so you're really doing s very courageous thing by getting the help you need. School will still be there when you're feeling better, and I hope that's very soon for you.

[gayleggg]

I can understand you feeling like you are going backwards, but getting yourself well is the most important thing right now. You have a serious condition that needs attention. Take the time to get better. You will be glad you did in the long run.

[handheart]

I am sorry for you as life can be a pain in the *** .I am not an expert on this field but i would sugest you to love life not matter how hard it is .Try to see positive things in this world are people in situations more badly than you and they love live very much

[Misterpain]

Well your not really taking a semester off , you will be studying it at the cellular level, you are your own thesis , so take the time , study hard and ace the exam ! By defending your thesis , you are worth the time and effort , anything you do today to make yourself better or stronger will pay off dividends later with a better life .

[MickeyCheeky]

Like you said, you need help.. your healt is very important. Adter you're done with it, I'm sure you will go back to your normal life

[Fuzzybear]