[MatBell]

6 months ago I really didn't expect to be here for my 30th birthday. I'm feeling better today than back then, but I'm still unstable and I know things could turn quickly.
So, my birthday is this thursday. For a long time I tried to just not think about it, thinking the day never came.
I know it's "just a number". But still, it brings up a lot of thoughts/emotions: a decade gone by where I really wasn't happy and generally struggled so much, missed out on a lot and been very alone. It's really been so hard. I have resentment and bitterness about what I missed out on because of my upbringing and family problems... I just hope it will get better. It has to, and I feel it. Without a doubt I cannot go through many more years this way.

I try to look forward instead of backwards. I planned with my therapist to bring some cake to work (even though I don't like the attention much) and see how it goes. Maybe go out for a beer with some of them. Maybe, I'm not sure. I hope I'll have a nice birthday for once.

[*Laurie*]

I hope you have a wonderful birthday

[campervanman]

"I wish it was my 30th birthday again" (`That sadly `has well and truly gone for ever!)

"Anyway"
Hope you have a wonderful birthday this coming Thursday! And many many more to come!

[gayleggg]

Happy birthday. Yeah, I wish I was 30 again. I would do so many things differently. Have a great day.

You know, as I get older, I realize the key to having a wonderful birthday is ME!

I no longer expect people to do things for me. I make plans and then I make those plans happen.

I think its a great idea to take a cake to work. I think its good that you want to then grab a beer with your co-workers.

I tend to plan birthday dinners out. Multiple ones! One for this group of friends, one for this side of my family, one for that side of my family... LOL. I milk it for all its worth!

[MickeyCheeky]

Wish you a wonderful birthday! I'm sure things will get better at some point

[Fuzzybear]

[benzenering]

Happy happy birthday!

[Just Lurking]

Birthdays are utterly brutal. Even looking back on past birthdays and thinking about them stirs up feelings of sadness.

Your 30th birthday will come and go... About lost time and aging, I try to focus on the future ('it's never too late')... "What would my 40-year-old self tell me right now?"

[Unrigged64072835]

Hope you have a great birthday. When I was 30 I was off my rocker and then I got pregnant. It didn't help things, but I love my daughter.

At least you don't have to worry about that. LOL

[MatBell]

Thanks all. Still struggling.. Feeling so worthless right now, like I've done nothing, achieved nothing in 30 years. Other people are stable and doing good, and I feel so far behind. Feel so ashamed of myself..