[meowmixxx]

Idk whag to do... My first therapy session isn't until tomorrow.

I have this gut feeling that my boyfriend is going to break up with me because of my depression. He's been really nice to me... But it's gotten to the point where I don't know if he's being just nice with me... Or if he really cares for me. I texted him telling him I wasn't sure if I was going to be good for him, because he seems a little more distant since this breakdown. He said he needed time to respond and it's breaking my heart...

Lately my coworkers have noticed how down hill I've gone. People who hardly talk to me are all of a sudden asking if I'm okay... And I telling me I can talk to them. Which has sprouted this thought that maybe my boyfriend and friends are just "trying to be nice" because they feel sorry for me.. Not because they love me.

I mean if these people who don't give a rats *** any other time of the year, all of a sudden offer their shoulder. I know they are just being nice. Like they feel obligated to because I'm so depressed. So what makes me think that the man I love and my "real" friends aren't doing the same....

It's like I can't trust who is pitying me and who means it...

Also... The thought of him no longer being in my life because my depression is debilitating... is making me think of what songs I need to prepare for my funeral... I have been getting like 4 hours a sleep at night, eating once a day. I'm trying to eat and take care of myself... My stomach feels upset like I'm not hungry and food tastes bad... I cried myself to sleep last night...

[Rohag]

Hello, Meowmixxx!

Originally Posted by meowmixxx

I have been getting like 4 hours a sleep at night...

You are dealing with a lot of things. Lack of sleep can make all of those things worse. In talking with your doctor+therapist, consider bringing in the sleep issue, too.

Wishing you a good session tomorrow!

[meowmixxx]

Originally Posted by Rohag

Hello, Meowmixxx!

You are dealing with a lot of things. Lack of sleep can make all of those things worse. In talking with your doctor+therapist, consider bringing in the sleep issue, too.

Wishing you a good session tomorrow!

Thank you... I am so terrified.

On the plus side I did talk to my boyfriend. He was very supportive. He said he was feeling depressed because of me and had been distancing himself. However, he did not communicate anything to me so I thought he was just sick of me. That was not helpful and it really hurt me... So as I work on what I need to do to get better, he is going to work on commucating more with me so I don't feel like everything is my fault.

[meowmixxx]

And yes going to talk about sleeping... I need a new GP so hopefully my therapist can recommend someone who cares and wants to work with me and medication. My current GP will prescribe me anything I want. He doesn't care and I want someone to care. I don't wanna pick my own drugs.

[MtnTime2896]

In regards to the original post, take yourself out of your current position and put yourself in theirs. Lets say that someone you know, might even consider a friend, has been feeling down for some time and it's like they just keep getting worse. Maybe that friend feels alone and like no one cares. But they're your friend and you don't want them to feel that way. Wouldn't you offer a shoulder to lean on so that they don't feel so alone?

[meowmixxx]

Originally Posted by Só leigheas

In regards to the original post, take yourself out of your current position and put yourself in theirs. Lets say that someone you know, might even consider a friend, has been feeling down for some time and it's like they just keep getting worse. Maybe that friend feels alone and like no one cares. But they're your friend and you don't want them to feel that way. Wouldn't you offer a shoulder to lean on so that they don't feel so alone?

I guess you make a valid point. It's just have these random people who never say a word to me feel the need to tell me I can come to them... And I just know they are saying that to be nice.

So then it just makes me feel like everyone is just "trying to be nice"... I would rather them day nothing at all. But maybe that's just my mind clouded too... I'm so tired of feeling awful.

[MtnTime2896]

Originally Posted by meowmixxx

I guess you make a valid point. It's just have these random people who never say a word to me feel the need to tell me I can come to them... And I just know they are saying that to be nice.

So then it just makes me feel like everyone is just "trying to be nice"... I would rather them day nothing at all. But maybe that's just my mind clouded too... I'm so tired of feeling awful.

I understand that.

When I got cancer a couple years back, I remember just thinking in my head, "People only care about you when you're famous or dying." When it came to the random people who wanted to say their piece.

I'm sure not all of them are just being nice. Some people are more empathetic than most and feel when someone's hurting. I always think people in my life are just there to pity me, but that's when my anxiety and depression are really bad.