I'm not sure I can hold on

I'm not sure I can hang on enough to get through the night.

I don't want to eat, or drink or call anyone. Everything hurts.

Would you be willing to just talk here?

I can just be here to listen or we could try distraction. Whatever you need, we can work something out.

I'm here too. You're not alone.

I am so very tired. Indescribably tired.

My husband must get tired of my complaints. I'm on the sofa trying not to let the tears fall so that they think it's okay.

If your husband loves you, he won't be "tired" of your issues. Maybe being honest here would be a good idea. Allow yourself to cry. When I finally let it all out a couple months ago, I was able to cry myself into exhaustion and just woke up the next morning. My fiance was just happy I talked to him the next day about what I was feeling. I'm sure many men are different but I've noticed with guys, they like to see that they can help something or someone. They like knowing that they're contributing in a positive way, especially when it comes to their family. Men fix things and when they can't, yeah it can frustrate them, but they will settle with just being able to help.

I could be completely off base here and feel free to tell me so. Maybe, if you and him went some place private and talked for a bit, it might help. You're not complaining, you're reaching out for some help. It's okay to get help, sometimes. We all need it.

No, you're not off base. He can't do anything though. He does hold me and lets me cry but I still don't sleep. I'm just tired of life.
And I feel that I bring him down, too. I don't want him to know of the pain.

I said something really similar to my fiance not too long ago (meaning just last week). I told him that I feel I bring him down and it's not fair to him. This is what he told me, "You're not bringing me down by letting me help lift you up." My therapist (who is trained and payed to listen to my problems) also had to remind me that I can talk to him. He made an analogy, "It's like getting a mattress up a flight of stairs. Sure, you could go it alone. You're probably going to lose your grip on it a few times and it'll fall back down the stairs. Maybe after enough time and tries, you'll get it up there yourself. Or, you could allow someone to help, just a little, help you carry that ****er up that flight." (Yes, my therapist cusses like a sailor because I do, too.)

I won't keep pressing this next option because I understand it when someone says, 'no'; but have you thought about going IP? Just to get out of daily life, be in a safe environment and possibly get some help/motivation to be able to keep going?

Thank you.
I haven't considered IP...I don't think I could do that. I appreciate you trying to help, though.

I'm sorry I can't do more. Honestly, my only other recommendation is writing out your thoughts with pen and paper. It's how I get out things I will never tell anyone and it keeps me from bottling it up too bad.

Thank you, so leighas

Hopefully you are asleep now (sometimes when I feel bad, I feel better in the morning) but if you aren't I do think it helps if you try to identify what you are thinking about when you are feeling depressed, then, like Só leigheas said--write it down--you can journal, post, or private message. It helped me to not run away from my thoughts. I'm not as obsessed with my attempt anymore but I spent alot of time trying to write/figure out what I was upset about at the moment I did it. So maybe try to figure out what is going on in your head when your depression is at its blackest?

How are you, sophiesmom?

I was about asking the same

And asking the same sophiesmom
Hoping you're feeling a little better but hey, if you want to talk.........we care and we're here for you

We're all worried for you! Let us know how you feel, you're much more important than you think

Thank you all for caring about me. It has been rough episode

Things are better today.

I just am grateful so much for the support here and to know you all understand.

Please please forgive my brevity...just wanted to check in with you all.

You are not alone, I understand

So glad to hear from you and that things are a little better

Group hug

Please go to the ER. You need help, whether you like the idea of it or not.

(((((sophiesmom)))))