I feel terrible on verge of relapse trigger

I've been punching myself in the face last 7 days.i finally went to urgent care as there weren't any appointments at the doctors office.it was around six.my mom wanted me to go.anyway I get there and they are after bit were going to be upfront were taking you to the er to get evaluated.it was an ambush but I went anyway.they don't tell you anything at the er the doctor just looks at you then leaves which passes me off.i found out later it was a face contusion. I got to go home that same night.but now there's another problem I feel like the hospital has brought back my suicidal depression.dont know why or how but it just has.it took everything in my power to control myself in the er from acting up. Usually I'm impulsive and I'm very out of control aggressive but not this time this time i behaved but it doesn't explain why I feel terrible

Sorry you went through that. You may be having a traumatic reaction from previous ER visits. Try and get focused on where you are at now. Some mindfulness may help.

I'm sorry this happened. I can't tell why it happened, but I'll listen.

Hi, I'm trying to understand your post. So you were seen in the ER, but you were not hospitalized or given an appointment with a pdoc?

Nope no appointment or hospitalizations. The hospital i go to is very negligent they left an iv in me one time i went home like that and they also threatened to throw out my clothes cause i wanted to leave.sending me home despite injuring myself is common for them which is when i was like 19 or 20 i did something at therapy they took Me to a different hospital