[Aken]

Hi All:
This is my second post;first one to this board.I am on disability which took two years to get approved. It left our finances devastated. I have bipolar depression/anxiety/borderline personality disorder. I have had depression since 1999 and had a nervous breakdown/psychosis in 1980 when I was in college.
Last week, I felt the worse I have ever felt. The mental pain/torture was terrible. This went on for two or three days until I called my pdoc and he put me on seroqell. It basically just knocked me out. Right now I am very confused as to what is going on with me. I can usually handle the depression with all the tools I have been taught but not this time. Nothing worked. The only way I could get any relief is to just close my eyes in a quiet room and rest. I weathered yet another storm but this one has left me stripped of everything. It feels as though I am going to have to rebuild everything mentally. Right now I feel I have no hope of ever getting better, empty, I have just resigned from life. I can't take it anymore.
I just try to put on a good show but am still very depressed. No one can understand what I just went through. They don't want to hear about it. Every little thing upsets me. Sorry for such along post, but I just had to get it all out on the table.
Ken

[*Laurie*]

Hi Ken, My first thought after reading your post is that the Seroquel is not helping you. At least, not yet. Personally, Seroquel never did anything for me except make me sleep. Please do call your pdoc and tell him how you're feeling. You have to be a squeaky wheel.

[gayleggg]

Ken, I agree with Laurie. Talk to your doctor. He can suggest a med that will work better.

[Clara22]

Originally Posted by Aken

Hi All:
This is my second post;first one to this board.I am on disability which took two years to get approved. It left our finances devastated. I have bipolar depression/anxiety/borderline personality disorder. I have had depression since 1999 and had a nervous breakdown/psychosis in 1980 when I was in college.
Last week, I felt the worse I have ever felt. The mental pain/torture was terrible. This went on for two or three days until I called my pdoc and he put me on seroqell. It basically just knocked me out. Right now I am very confused as to what is going on with me. I can usually handle the depression with all the tools I have been taught but not this time. Nothing worked. The only way I could get any relief is to just close my eyes in a quiet room and rest. I weathered yet another storm but this one has left me stripped of everything. It feels as though I am going to have to rebuild everything mentally. Right now I feel I have no hope of ever getting better, empty, I have just resigned from life. I can't take it anymore.
I just try to put on a good show but am still very depressed. No one can understand what I just went through. They don't want to hear about it. Every little thing upsets me. Sorry for such along post, but I just had to get it all out on the table.
Ken

Hi Ken,
You are right, in general people do not understand our suffering. Please, keep posting. You will find relief here.
Sending you a hug

[Fuzzybear]

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