[AbladeintheMeadow]

I've lost me & I don't know how to find me.

I can't think straight.

I can't organise myself.

When I try & think it's like my head has nothing in it or maybe it's blocked. I'm not sure.

I feel like a chameleon on the outside because I become whatever I need to be at any given time. Friend. Mother. Daughter. Neighbour. Customer. But on the inside there is nothing.

There is conflict inside me because in order not to let anyone down I keep doing the things that are expected of me. I go to work. I shop. I take my friend to the gym. I visit family. But all the time I feel I have no desire to be with people.

I feel I am failing them all. I feel I am failing myself.

I couldn't even decide where to post this.

[bearguardian]

[gayleggg]

Have you considered therapy? It might help you understand what's going on.

[AbladeintheMeadow]

I have engaged in counselling, that finished abut 18mths ago & was more focused on anxiety & coping strategies. Maybe I should go back. Things just seem to change so quickly y'know? I think I'm doing OK & getting on & then bang, crash I fall in a hole & then I think I'm ok again. But maybe I need help stopping the seesaw.

Thank you