She is convincing me

Im depressed. I try to explain why but it sounds so ridiculous that i feel i cant ask for help or that it would only be a waste of time. But inside im dying. I told my T im gonna kill myself and she talks as if its gonna happen as a matter of fact. She is actually convincing me im gonna do it. What do i do?

I would talk to her about it and let her know that you're not finding it helpful, or that you're finding it distressing, or whatever words best describe your feelings. She needs to know that so she can do something differently.

How long have you had this therapist ? It's highly irregular for a therapist to act this way unless you have a long term relationship, over many years that she can be sure your venting , I had a girlfriend who husband was seriously depressed for many years , without warning one morning he got up and dressed for work kissed her goodbye and vanished hover showed up at work, they started looking for him when he didn't come home, they called his therapist who said yeah I saw him this morning he looked great and was the happiest he had ever been telling the therapist "I figured this out finally and it's changed my life , thank you " therapist being a dumbass said well thanks for letting me know you tell me all about it in session next week , you'll be here for our Tuesday session right, " yep sure will, thanks again " and left, drove to his favorite hunting area and hung himself, literally ten minutes after telling the therapist he had solved his depression, a therapist should never overlook the obvious, especially when you state a date as they end of you , I would seriously recommend that you get a different therapist, because this one sounds dangerous .

It sounds to me a bit like this therapist is playing a potentially dangerous "game"... my guess is you've seen this therapist for a long time.. even then it doesn't sound great, but what do I know..

Either speak to this therapist about how you're feeling or dump her.

I've been seeing her for a year now i think she could be able to do this kind of mental "game" to show me that once im gone im gone for good and other people will suffer. i guess her plan is working but i dont wan to live, i swear, i dont want to be alive.

Sinking one thing I can tell you is life is hard and not getting any easier, but I have been a perpetual happy optimist ever since I "woke up dead" my eyes opened I could not speak yet but there in front of me squealing like a little girl was my first neurologist (he missed diagnosed me by the smallest of margins and I hated him for it,because my whole world came crashing down on me ) he proceeded to tell me that I remember going to bed (yup I did) and I thought I was waking up ( yup I did) in reality I had died in my sleep and alot had changed (yup it had ) and he knew me well enough to get correctly interpreting the faces I did not know I was making ( those thoughts of what you would like to beat in to him,just because it was him).
Long story short I have great respect for the guy and appreciate him like never before , coming close to exiting this world is scary stuff took me some serious therapy to get over that one , dieing is no game it's one and done , and surviving that is an awesome responsibility.
Trust me when I say , if today was not the best day of your life , try missing just one, I missed more than one, and no matter how much your brain tells you let's get out of here , don't give in , getting well is messy and imprecise science, but being dead really sucks , stay and fight , lean on us with broader shoulders , death is not the answer, I don't want to bore you or sound artificial, or tell you lies about how great the world and life is ,because it may never be all that for many people , the appeal of death is that it's unknown , no one ever comes back to tell us if it's nothing or more of the same as we have here ,but please don't give in , the answer is not worth it , cross that date off your calendar and fight on ,post or pm me anytime just don't give up .

Misterpain

I have been depressed for too many years. Your doctor is a quack. He does not know what is going on. I have had too many dark epidodes I cannot post. I only have brief episodes of the normal me. Right now I am not the normal me. But I do know I am a survivor.......
Ken

I will not speculate on your therapist because what goes on between a therapist and client is very delicate and specific.

I do believe that you need to tell your therapist exactly what you've posted here. How do you feel when she discusses your suicidal feelings? Tell her exactly. Write a letter if you aren't seeing her right away, or if you feel you cannot speak the words.

It's fine to feel like things are too ridiculous to be true. I often come across these events in life that I feel like should only happen in some fictional story, because nobody would ever believe me if I told them, or definitely think I'm crazy. Maybe I am. But I like to think that everyone is a little bit crazy