[UglyDucky]

Most of the time, I have some inkling of why I'm depressed, but not now. My T can't seem to help, so I feel guilty for even going to therapy.

It feels a bit like I should know what's wrong, yet "it" is just out of reach. I've repressed my childhood memories of my mother up to the age of 12, which leaves a huge hole in what I could be talking about (not that those memories are the cause of my depression, necessarily).

I'm struggling with wanting to SH. I can text or call my T, but I don't know what I would say. I've never felt this empty or clueless about why I feel as I do and it's incredibly painful.

I think this is just a vent. But if anyone else has had this experience, I would welcome insights, suggestions, comments, etc.

I, too, can feel like I have depression and not know why. There are times when I have depression when things are going relatively well. It's weird and I don't know why. During the spring and summer I get depression the most. And then I could feel better at a time when things are not well.

[dexter]

Sometimes the reasons for depression can be elusive or sometimes it can just be brain chemicals out of whack for no reason. Don't feel guilty going to your T, it is his or her job to help you figure out why you are depressed and to help you come up with solutions. Reach out if you feel you need to, even if you don't know what to say, let your T guide the conversation if necessary. Good luck.

[eeeyore]

My depression is endogenous too, or maybe I had so many triggers that I lost count...

[Frankbtl]

Hi UglyDucky

Yes, sometimes depression "just is"
Sometimes people can have everything going right in life, even everything they ever dreamed of but that doesn't make them immune from depression.............
But your T should be there to support you regardless so please don't feel guilty about seeing them, eventually you might discover an underlying reason or trigger/s with them.........something that can be addressed "head on"...........but if not they can still be there for you as a support in giving you a forum/safe place to "let it out", in helping you find ways of better coping with how you're feeling, in offering you ideas and strength in finding a way past/beyond how you're feeling right now
But if you're struggling with what to say to them............that's OK
Other than it being their role to help you find your words..........sometimes it can take a lot of less detailed, short or confused/mixed up, repetative, "simplistic" words/sentences............sometimes it can take a lot of pauses or silences in discussions to get to somewhere further...........often that isn't bad/pointless at all, but in actuality massive, real important steps towards "more"...........in fact even more than "more" because without those steps.............
So keep reaching out, hey?
And from me........kudos for still having hung in there with the therapy

Alison

[Fuzzybear]