I remember some people I know talking about needing to change, both about themselves and about others like me.
It teared friendships apart.
Why improve and not be accepted for who you are?
Why do people put others down to improve their self-esteems like two best frenemies have done to me?
If that's what it means to improve, then I'll probably quit living.

Pretending that everything's ok is really not me.
If I feel bad, I show it. If I feel good, I also show it, although a good mood is rarer.

Co-worker rejects you by not answering a question on Whatsapp after some talk.
Why does she have to assume "fight-or-flight" if I'm interested in talking to her? Why do I have to act all "sexy-confident" just to reach to a woman's heart?
This kind of rejection which occurred yesterday has made my day horrible!

I also found out that there are no guardian angels anymore...
No one to appear all of a sudden and ask if you're ok.
One of my frenemies was like this though... but he hurt me so much, I questioned whether his occasional care was from a true heart, or from a heart eager of dominating someone for his self-esteem's sake.

But who am I kidding, it's also a part of me. I don't trust people who ask if I'm ok, because I start feeling inferior!
I hate the fact that people who have it good in life will also be the ones to help you, I mean, they can do anything, they're like angels, but with conditions.
So agree to their conditions or they'll leave you. They're lives are great, so why would they care?

[Travelinglady]

(((Vibrating Obsidian))) I have to say that here at PC most all of us don't "have it good in life." Of course, some of us suffer more than others. When we are at a fairly good place (likely temporarily in some cases), we can reach out to others.

I finally decided to go into therapy years ago because the way I was made me miserable.

Are you talking about developing higher self-esteem?

Hi! Sorry for what happened with you. We all have bad days. That's OK.

When I wonder about life, I cannot help but seeing it as a game. A game with rules. You can choose to play to win, but if you signed up you also would lose. If you want to have the wins, you will need to play within the rules. You cannot invent your own rules. Ladies are attracted to certain traits in guys. You need to develop at least some of them to be successful with the ladies. I'm not saying that's why your co-worker didn't answer you. I don't know you and what exactly happened between the two of you, or even if it was a good idea to make a move on a co-worker in the first place. May be she wasn't interested. I don't know. But as a general (but not absolute) rule, ladies like confident (and funny) guys. This is not to say they look only for these traits. Other traits are important of course. But being confident and funny create the impression that allows for deeper introductions and conversations. I think your experience probably points to this observation as well.

For me, I signed off from the game. I'm just watching it, and I have to tell you, it's boring to watch. I'm sure it's more fun to play. Go for it. Don't give up. You are still young. You don't want to be in your mid 30s and alone.

Just for a side note: in real life, fake you are good. Here you can say whatever you want, but people are usually attracted to positivity. It is not competently honest, but it is what it is, and it works. Good luck