Alone forever, possible suicide? What to do?

Hello, I think I will close my account after this theme gets your answers. My situation is complicated, but I will try to put it simple. I am disabled person, an invalid. I get the disability on the count of mental illnesses. It doesn't matter which, because I feel quite good except sleeping problems. But I am forbidden from legal work. I don't dare to cancel and later return my disability benefit AND right to inherit both parents pensions. Besides I don't feel I could manage 8 hours of repetitive activity 5 days per week. Part-time doesn't exist here. Anyway work is out. But it's not because of money it's because women degrade me and are very jealous I get solid money without working a single bit. It's just hardcore jealousy. I have had threats even and worse.

The case is I have only my mother who is most similar to me. We do argue on daily basis, moreover because of existential situation we are in past 2 years and still. My brother want's his own life and won't be with me, living. My mother is sick and old... 70 years already. My father is serving life sentence in prison, but anyway I don't like him. It's also thing which drives potential partners and friends away. I believe, since I know woman's psychology and yearning for material things that I will become really attractive when I inherit pensions and had quite good money and also an apartment. I don't think there won't be anybody... You are always great if you have money. But what bothers me that if I fight with my mom every day on the very brink of physical fight, what would happen with "gold digger" which will smell only my money? I fear I may do physical harm.

So, there really won't be any similarities between any two of us, her thing will be money mine sex. And that's not what I want. If it has to be like that, at least she be stupid like most Asians are and just put on repeat all day: "I love you. I Love you. I love you." It's just that I can't see anyone neither 10% of similarity with my mother. With whom I fight. But she is really my only reason to live. I also thought about really joining the church and start going often... Maybe religion would make them better? I am not religious, but I respect Christianity. I like church music, I like choirs, I like these people... But, even so... I don't think I will be able to find, not a soul mate, but at least decent one. I also disavow children. I just don't want them. Which is huge turn off to very most of women. Also I deny marriage if it's with someone from my country. Only if it is foreign girl and she has to sign my prenuptial agreement where she withholds from inheriting any of my real estate or possessions. Which she can receive after my death only if I write it in my last will. I have had too much of fake, scamming, gold digging people in my life.

My best friend, and I say best ever... Is really kinda obnoxious often and I stopped messaging him often. I just know if I don't find someone after mothers death... I would have hard time to live and not to commit suicide. So... what to so? I am not looking only for sex, because if I needed only that... I would already bought it. I really need some kind of "replacement" for my mother. Yeah, it sounds ridiculous and impossible. So what to do? Any suggestions? Yeah, I am complicated, believe me.

Destroyed, hang in there. I know how alone feels.

Sorry I have no easy answers.
I too have physical problems as well as depression and can't work.
However there is no hope in life after you've died.
I sincerely hope you can find some kind of hope ....somewhere....somehow........

I am sorry you are feeling this way. One thing I notice is that you are so set on the idea that a potential mate would just want your money. Do you really have that much money? It doesn't sound like it to me. Sounds like you are comfortable and may be well off when you inherit pensions but to me it doesn't sound like you are "rich". I wouldn't automatically assume you would only find gold diggers interested in you. And even if you are super rich that doesn't mean everyone is after your money. Also plenty of women have married rich and famous people and agreeed to sign a prenup, so just because you want that doesn't mean you won't find someone.

I know it is hard but you have to try to tame your attitude. It may be a long time before your mom passes away. I have grandparents in their 80s. I always used to worry about them passing away but instead I lost both my parents before them. Just goes to show you life isn't always what you expect.

Try not to focus on finding a "replacement for your mother". If you're looking for companionship and want to date then you should do that for the sake of doing it. Don't go out looking for someone to replace her because that is impossible.

I am awful at this too- but find hobbies if you know you won't be working. Or volunteer if you can. Keep yourself busy. And plenty of women won't care that you don't have to work to make money, you say some people are mad about that but I can tell you there are people who won't care.

Good luck