[jman197]

I know that the title makes no sense but listen to what I have to say. Its like this, mentally I'm in so much pain from hurts that I've caused or have happened to me. I can't seem to cope half the time and I've lost many of the people I thought I could rely on to understand. They have either been forced out of my life, died, left, or never really understood in the first place. Those that do understand have their own problems to deal with. Besides I can't rely on people to help me cope for the rest of my life. So I don't want to live like this, and I see no way out. But yet I can't end it all. To many people need me and rely on me. That and I can't seem to force myself after the last time I tried. I can't seem to find the main reason why I feel this way either. I just feel so lost and gone. Like the me I used to be is already dead, and I'm just living out a fake life.

[Anonymous37919]

I was once told that life is worth living. But then why does it feel so lame? Uh!

[leejosepho]

My "flesh" or mortal self or whatever religious folks might call that often wishes it did not have to keep going, and for the same kinds of reasons you have mentioned. But then there is also my "soul" or "spirit" or whatever that refuses to be dominated by the flesh...and somewhere in all of that is where I find the freedom of free will to rise above my situations and circumstances while continuing to try to be useful, helpful or at least meaningful in the lives of others.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by jman197

I know that the title makes no sense but listen to what I have to say. Its like this, mentally I'm in so much pain from hurts that I've caused or have happened to me. I can't seem to cope half the time and I've lost many of the people I thought I could rely on to understand. They have either been forced out of my life, died, left, or never really understood in the first place. Those that do understand have their own problems to deal with. Besides I can't rely on people to help me cope for the rest of my life. So I don't want to live like this, and I see no way out. But yet I can't end it all. To many people need me and rely on me. That and I can't seem to force myself after the last time I tried. I can't seem to find the main reason why I feel this way either. I just feel so lost and gone. Like the me I used to be is already dead, and I'm just living out a fake life.

Perhaps I'm stating the obvious, but have you talked to a counselor/therapist/social worker/community leader about exactly what you're going through right now? Their responsibility would be to (i) tease out the concrete specifics and causes of your situation, and (ii) teach you skills that will help you become more self-reliant.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm sorry you feel this way.

[splion]

Psychiatrically One loses the will to live when the ego judges the past, current and foreseeable future (which may or may not be accurate) as insufficient to meet the ego's standards. The answer lies in evaluating and changing the source of those feelings.

There are also underlying issues with neurotransmitters.

I personally have issues with both and I hope that you can stop suffering and find peace.

[leejosepho]

Originally Posted by splion

Psychiatrically One loses the will to live when the ego judges the past, current and foreseeable future (which may or may not be accurate) as insufficient to meet the ego's standards. The answer lies in evaluating and changing the source of those feelings...

I believe that is accurate, and that could be quite a discussion! Whenever I presume -- whenever my ego so arrogantly presumes -- to try to set any kind of standard (with accompanying expectations, of course) either for myself or for anyone else, I end up launching myself right out of reality and on into frustrated instincts leading to depression and despair.