[subtle lights]

This is happening for a while now, I cannot focus and I mean I REALLY cannot focus. I have issues with understanding texts, and when my mind has decided it doesn't want to get something, trying to read it more times and trying to understand it gives me a smaller anxiety attack or I just become extremely agitated and angry even (then of course towards myself).
I recently quit my job but still have a month there and I honestly don't know what I'm doing most of the days. I try to work but get so anxious when I actually need to think (even a bit) and need to distact myself with social media and then I feel guilty and more anxious. Viva la vicous cycles..
Also I have no idea what I will do, I had so many plans but now I can't do anything (also don't feel like to...).
My short term memory disappeared partially and I keep starting things but cannot finish them, I just jump from one idea to another without doing anyhing and half of it I don't remember.
Also it's hard to connect my thoughts together...
I really want my mind back but I don't know if it will ever be back...

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm really sorry. I can relate a bit to it.. it's not pretty.

[Fuzzybear]

[subtle lights]

I was initially seeing the first "symptoms" as part of a spiritual journey, like an opening towards a more intuitive, "right brained" view of the world. Maybe acceptance would help and then see what's going to happen. Maybe it's an opening towards a new me, maybe this was the only way to get myself moving towards a life that would really make me feel alive and happy.
But it's scary...and soooo frustrating