Trust

After months of trying to figure out what I was missing in life, today I learned that no matter how difficult life seems in the moment or how sad I am feeling, that I should trust my friends and loved ones with my thoughts and be my genuine self around them. It is not healthy to bottle up dark, sad, potentially suicidal feelings. Going through life wearing a mask is tiring and the other party can sense if you're not being entirely truthful. By not revealing your own dark side, people instinctively learn that you don't fully trust them and therefore they also have to protect their own thoughts. There is no mutual trust. There is no meaning behind the relationship. You're constantly worried that someday your mask is going to crack, so you try to stuff down the feelings even more. And slowly the more detached you become from your own feelings, the more detached you become from life itself. Things stop having meaning, all because of trying to put up an act of toughness that "everything is OK." It gets lonely trying not to be a burden to anyone.

It's normal to need to depend on others. It's important to trust the ones you love, that they will try their best to be supportive and let you know if they sincerely can't help.

My whole life, I've felt devoid of connection to my family. When my dog passed, I hid my sadness and my tears. I could cry for hours by myself, but never in someone's presence. On occasion my mom would say "you look cheerful today, what's going on?" and internally I'd be screaming "can't you see that I'm not okay and that this whole act is a scam?" This is no way to live. It's unfair that I hide myself because then nobody gets to see the true me. Nobody is perfect. And it is OK to not be OK.

Love thyself. Trust. Feel again.

this is one of the most thoughtful and beautiful posts I have ever read ... Bless you ... you deserve all the happiness and love you can hold ... Love from Tigger ...

Not having many trustworthy people to love can be a deal-breaker there, but I do still definitely agree. I picked this up from somewhere many years ago:

"Be true to yourself, be true to your people and learn to be content."

Well said.