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#1
Mar 28, 2017, 04:12 PM
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When I was younger I would liken myself to a hard wood . If you scratched me it did not make a mark. As I have aged I became a soft wood. Now scratches left a mark. Sometimes a very deep mark .
Today ... I am a veneer , the cover hides what is underneeth with a false top. If you scratch me (as happened today) it goes straight thru and there is nothing to stop it . The helplessness to keep it together is exposed , the weakness is there for all to see , I feel so frail , physically shaking , withdrawing from everyone , hiding . Wanting to crawl in bed and pull the covers up and over . Praying when I do it will be over . I thought I was so well , so strong , but like a leaf it only took a stiring wind to blow off my mask. I don't believe it will ever be safe for me. I am so tired from lying to myself and others . Not to worry the Tigger will go on . It feels like defeat and so depressing but what else is there . |
 Fuzzybear, MtnTime2896, Nammu, subtle lights, Unrigged64072835, whisperingskye
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#2
Mar 28, 2017, 04:17 PM
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You're really strong.
 Never forget that.
__________________
"Give him his freedom and he'll remember his humanity." |
 wiretwister
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#3
Mar 28, 2017, 04:33 PM
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I second that (what Só leigheas said). You are strong! We all become a little weaker when we become older, but to become older means that we have been strong enough to not give in! Never, never let anyone trample on you. You have your own dignity ...
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| MtnTime2896, wiretwister
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#4
Mar 28, 2017, 04:52 PM
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what I have realized is I am going flat out , giving it all I have . I have no reserve , so when that second wind is needed , it is just not there . at least no zanex today , just a stick of ritz crackers , comfort food ... one small victory .
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| MtnTime2896, subtle lights
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#5
Mar 28, 2017, 04:55 PM
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Maybe giving all you have is all the world needs...maybe your vulnerability is what the world needs because it's the deep honest you and I can feel that.
I'm so sorry it hurts 
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| wiretwister
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#6
Mar 28, 2017, 04:57 PM
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And vulnerability is strength. You really are strong!
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| wiretwister
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#7
Mar 28, 2017, 05:00 PM
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Can definitely relate to this analogy
I think you are stronger than you believe though. I'm here for you, if you want to talk
__________________
Tired of feeling lost, tired of letting go. Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down. Tired of wasting breath, tired of nothing left. Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down. Failure. Failure - Breaking Benjamin |
| wiretwister
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#8
Mar 28, 2017, 08:05 PM
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Yay for no Xanax! I understand that small victory.
__________________
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned." --Richard Feynman |
| wiretwister
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#9
Mar 28, 2017, 08:59 PM
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Quote:
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#10
Mar 29, 2017, 10:49 AM
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__________________
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| wiretwister
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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